RIP In Peace Eddie The Sea Otter That Could Dunk A Basketball And Suck His Own Dick
Advertisement
Oregon Live- If you visited the Oregon Zoo in the last 18 years, you probably saw Eddie the sea otter. Eddie, rescued as a pup from the California coast in 1998, lived at the zoo from 2000 until he was euthanized Thursday morning. “At nearly 21,” a press release from the Oregon Zoo read, “Eddie was considered one of the oldest — and most talented — sea otters on the planet.”
“Male sea otters seldom live past 15 years, so Eddie was among the very oldest of his kind,” said Amy Cutting, who oversees the zoo’s marine life area, in the release. In 2012, Eddie’s keepers taught the aging otter to dunk a toy basketball, as therapy for his arthritic elbow joints. His skills at the hoop made him an internet sensation. But, as visitors to the zoo might remember, Eddie had other interesting skills. He could sometimes be observed creatively pleasuring himself, proving the animal kingdom is full of unique learning experiences.
Damn, another legend bites the dust. I hate to say it, but this is starting to feel like 2016 when we had that rash of big time celebrity deaths hit right before the new year, except this time it is viral animals going down by the day instead of famous humans. First news broke that Roger The Ripped Kangaroo crushed his last bucket/protein shake two weeks ago.
And now we lose Eddie The Sea Otter before Christmas. YP if you are reading this, head down to the subway and make sure Pizza Rat doesn’t get eaten by a mole person before the ball drops in Times Square.
While I was crestfallen about Roger’s death, there was always a part of me that thought he was a bit of a hardo by always flexing. Eddie however was as relatable as it got. All he wanted to do was get buckets and get off. The JR Smith of sea otters. Eddie being able to get ANYTHING else done in his life with the ability to dunk and suck his own dick makes him a hero to both humans and otters alike and a downright God to every teenager that would sell their soul for the ability to do either.
So RIP In Peace, Edward. I hope heaven is half as great for you as life was.