A Goat Beat A Horse In Male Athlete Of The Year

As I was scrolling through my Instagram page, I saw that LeBron James was named the AP Male Athlete of the Year. Least surprising news, I know. He beat 3 supreme athletes, and a HORSE. A damn horse. When I saw the 4th runner up, I thought it was just LeBron’s dick for being able to play 15 years without injuring his groin until now.

Justify who won the American Triple Crown got nominated for Athlete of the Year before Joey Chestnut did. Think about that. Sure, Seabiscuit won many titles, but at the end of the day, he was a horse. What a generation we live in. If Justify can get nominated for this award, then my horse on Red Dead Redemption 2 should be a purple heart recipient. To hell with an O’Driscoll.

And yes, I was “scrolling” through my Instagram. I have my automatic downloads turned off for situations like this. Don’t you love it when companies see how much customers enjoy using their product and just change it? First Fortnite, then Snapchat stories and now Instagram?  The day you have to login to Google to Google a question is the day the internet dies. The end is near. Kind of like LeBron’s career(bars). Growing up sucks.