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Dude Keeps A Running Diary Of His Trip To "Sex Island" Featuring An "Orgy Golf Tournament" Where The Winner Has Sex With 100 Women For 15 Minutes

Daily Mail – A ‘diary’ supposedly written by a married dentist who attended an infamous Sex Island festival has emerged online – apparently written in between drug-fuelled romps. ‘Ryan from New York’, who also attended the risque event last year, claimed to be lifting the lid on what ‘really’ happens at the £4,600 hedonistic extravaganza. In the online diary, Ryan writes with time-stamped precision how the four-day festival began on a luxury yacht in the Caribbean, where guests were greeted by a group of prostitutes. Apparently while on the luxury yacht to the hotel private beach on Venezuela’s Margarita Island, Ryan noted down that some of the other guests were ‘physically shaking’ with nerves as they met the girls.  A threesome was off the cards for Ryan after the ‘long flight and ALL that sex on the yacht‘, so he claims instead they lay on the bed and crashed out.  At 5.30pm later that day Ryan wrote that ‘his girls’ woke him for dinner, before adding that the buffet options were steak and chicken, because obviously during a four-day orgy you would be sure to take note of the food on offer.  Shortly after the night club opened drugs began to get passed around and Ryan, who is married with two children, said that they were offering every type of drug you could imagine. At 9pm he whipped out his diary to report that he had began sniffing cocaine with his two girls, before half of the other women apparently began performing a live lesbian sex show.

The men were then asked whether they would like to join in, and Samuel, who according to Ryan was the ‘macho man of the group, willingly took on the thankless challenge.  Despite this being around 50 different girls judging by Ryan’s estimation of ‘half’ of all of the women on the island. However Samuel wasn’t alone for long, as Ryan revealed that almost all of the party began having a ‘huge orgy’, but sadly he ‘did so much drugs that he blacked out’. After a whirlwind first day Ryan woke in bed beside the two ‘hottest’ girls and headed for food and then onto an orgy golf tournament.  Sadly Ryan admitted he wasn’t very good at golf and another of the guests who ‘plays a lot’ won the prize of having sex with 100 girls for 15 minutes, who are largely from Venezuela and Colombia, as well as a ‘really horny girl’ from Canada, Ryan said.

Check your lease, man! Because you’re living on FUCK ISLAND!

Every now and then, the Sex Island goes viral. I dont know exactly how all of this is legal. Maybe its because its in international waters. Maybe its because there are no laws in Venezuela to begin with. Maybe its because all you’re technically doing is buying a ticket for a boat ride and the 100 whores just happen to be there. But in any event this one dentist from New York always goes and he snitches afterwards and writes an account of everything he encountered.

And I gotta be honest, this all sounds exhausting. A 4 day gangbang? I dont think I could handle one gangbang let alone 4 days worth. An “orgy golf tournament??” I think regular golf tournaments are too taxing. Sex with ONE HUNDRED GIRLS for 15 minutes?? Sex with 1 girl is gonna last about 5.5 minutes so you do the math on how I’m supposed to run through 100 Colombian hookers in 15 minutes. All of it sounds extremely tiring.

I can barely do a washed up bachelor party weekend anymore. We rent a house somewhere like 90 minutes away and drink Bud Light for a couple days and maybe, maybe hit a strip club and I am GASSED by Saturday night. I’m ready to tie a bow on it half way through the weekend. How in the fuck is anybody out here participating in “unlimited sex?” I very much need a limit on sex. And I can barely handle the hangover from back to back nights of partying so I dont know how I’d handle a standing 9pm cocaine appointment with my 2 sex slaves. Heres how my diary would go:

Check in Friday evening – Nap time. Traveling really takes it out of me.

Friday night – Invite my two hookers over, pretend to do cocaine but not actually do it because it scares me. Drink a lot because I was too nervous to actually have a threesome and end up not being able to perform. Hit the hay and say “Go get em tomorrow, slugger!”

Saturday day – Wake up and go on a booze cruise for the day, spend most of the time putting on sunblock and hanging out below deck to avoid the sun. Turn in for an afternoon nap with a sunburn and a hangover.

Saturday Night – Ok heres the big night. This is the one. Control my drinking, invite my hookers over again. Feign cocaine use again. Have disappointing sex with one of them because this time I didnt drink enough. I dont even make it to the second one. Ask my Colombian hookers to scratch my head while I fall back asleep.

Sunday day – Skip the Orgy Golf Tournament. Dont need to hack away out there and shoot a 150 only to watch one dude try to fuck 100 girls at once. Ask if they have Netflix aboard the ship or in a hotel room somewhere. Hopefully watch Schitts Creek with my two hookers while they continue to scratch my head.

Sunday night – Go home early. I’ve had enough.

Annnnnnd scene. Did get some good head massages though. Honestly thats the most important thing to me.