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Mom Buys Her Kid a Shepherd's Costume for the School Play and a Sheep Sex Doll is Included

SourceA mother says she was “mortified” after she mistakenly sent her 5-year-old son to school with a blowup sheep sex doll for the school’s nativity play.

Helen Cox reportedly bought a shepherd costume on Amazon for her son Alfie?????, which also came with a free blowup sheep. However, when Alfie brought the sheep to school, his teacher told him to take it back home.

After blowing up the sheep, the mother of two from Scotland finally realized why it was sent back home with her son. She found that the sheep had a large hole in its bottom along with red lips, eyelashes and a bow on its head.

After the discovery, Cox told Alfie that he couldn’t keep the sheep and attempted to make up reasons why he couldn’t. However, the young boy still wanted to play with it.

Cox has now figured out a plan to get the sheep from Alfie. She says she will tell him that the “Elf on the Shelf” took it.

This is one of those instances where, if you find fault with the parent, it screams that you yourself are not a parent. Everyone’s an expert on how to raise kids, until they have kids. It’s exactly like what Mike Tyson said about how everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.

When your 5-year-old says he wants a toy and it’s not something that’s going to stab, shoot, explode or otherwise do serious harm to anyone, you get it. When your kid says he wants to be a shepherd for the school nativity play, you might ask yourself what’s wrong with his self-esteem that he’s not aiming higher, like wanting to be Joseph or a Wise Man or something, but that’s it. You get the costume. And there is exactly zero part of your cerebrum that asks whether or not a sex toy will come with it.

This is just like that Harry Potter Nimbus 2000 toy that came out about eight or so years ago. It was a plastic broom you put between your legs and it vibrates to simulate flying. And the online reviews ended up being full of clueless moms saying “This toy is so much fun! My daughter and her friends go into her room and play with it for hours!” and so on. True story. Because nobody looks at their child’s playthings and evaluates them for sexual creepiness. So I stand with you on this one, Helen Cox. Even as I giggle a little bit at your name.

And while I may have buried the lede here, who exactly do they manufacture sheep sex toy dolls for? I mean, who is their target audience exactly? Sheep are sex partners for sick, isolated loners who can’t get a woman. Inflatable sex dolls are for sick, isolated loners who can’t get a woman. So an inflatable sheep sex toy is for whom? Loners so sick and isolated they can’t get a real sheep or an inflatable sex doll? Not that I’m judging. No, wait. Judging is precisely what I’m doing. Suffice to say that if you’re buying one of these for reasons other than a prop in a play, suicide might be your best option.