Peter King Told A Fascinating Story About Andrew McCutchen Last Night And The Internet Hated It So Peter Promptly Took His Ball And Went Home Like A 5 Year Old

Big Cat9/24/2014 1:43 PM

So if I’m following this story correctly Peter King once was in a Starbucks IN Pittsburgh WITH Andrew McCutchen and the barista was like, hey man, what’s the name for your drink, and then Andrew McCutchen, who’s first name is Andrew by the way, was like, ANDREW. WHOAAAAAAAAAA. Can’t make this stuff up guys.

I know what his point is, at least I think I do, that people didn’t recognize McCutchen in his home city, even though it was probably some high school chick who didn’t give a shit, but the story is so vintage Peter King. It’s like he has a formula for story telling in his brain only he’s the only one on earth who doesn’t realize it always spits out the same shitty pointless result.

Take current event, relate it to some interaction with a waiter/waitress/barista/bartender (bonus points if it’s coffee related), make sure you heavily insert yourself into the current event, tell story and then BAM! Watch everyone be super impressed with that time you stood in line behind Andrew McCutchen. All in a hard day’s work.

Andrew McCutchen was in front of me in line, he ordered drink and barista said to him

Name for the cup?

McCutchen said politely, “Robin, as in Robin Williams, the guy who killed himself”

Barista was almost in tears.

The Best part of the little story time was that everyone on the internet hated it, you know because it was completely pointless and made no real sense, something that never actually dawned on Peter King before telling it. So when the truth came out, and he realized that everyone was standing around staring blankly at him giving him the “That’s It, that’s your fucking story?” shoulder shrug he took his ball and went home. He genuinely never thought for a second that his story didn’t suck. Just unbelievable to see a man so out of touch with reality slowly come to. Fascinating.

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