Amazon Driver Who Bowls Packages Across Front Lawns Needs To Work On His Form

MEMPHIS, Tenn. — An Amazon driver in Cordova might need to work on his delivery after video shows him toss a package into a customer’s yard instead of walking to the door. Venecia Patterson said she was worried when she found one of her shipments from Amazon.com in the middle of her lawn Friday. Thinking someone had tried to steal her packages and dropped one, she checked security camera footage to see what happened. Instead of finding a thief on her porch, she caught an Amazon delivery driver who drove up, walked to the edge of her yard and chucked the package into the grass — in the rain, no less. It skidded a few feet before he drove away.

Ah, yes, the ol’ bowling the square package across the lawn delivery technique. 0% of the time, it works every time. Hey, soon to be fired Amazon driver, it’s not worth doing unless it’s worth doing right. Watch some Pete Weber, Ernie McCracken, or even Fred Flinstone videos on YouTube and the next package will at least reach the pins. And to the customer complaining – Yeah, it sucks your paid package got rag-dolled across the lawn. But it could always be worse. Just wait till the Amazon delivering drones start decapitating people.

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Did I blog this story as an excuse to post this all-time Pete Weber clip? You’re goddamn right I did. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?! I AM?!?!?!