I know that the title says toe but I’m going to include fingers here too. Let’s see. Let’s breakdown the parts of the body.
1. Dick: I think I need my dick still. The balls I could live without. I’ve long said that the balls are the dumbest part of the human body. They look silly and make zero sense. If I was our Lord and Savior, I would have designed the male testicles completely differently. I would have put the balls inside the body like an extra pair of kidneys or the pancreas. Over time, the pancreas has become useless. Evolutionarily speaking, the testicles should have moved into the spot where the pancreas is. It’s simple body Fung Shui. If that happens, the male genitals instantly become more visually stunning and beautiful. As we stand now? Cut them fuckers off. (if you can still cum that is. Dont need fluid. Just the feeling. if not, please leave me intact)
2. Ears. Of all the artificial limbs, ears probably look the most natural. Check this out.
Holy fuck. That looks just like my ear now. I wouldnt even know the difference. Same color and everything. Ear takes the lead. Let’s backtrack a little bit and take a look at fake testicles too. Just for science.
Dont worry. Those are fake. If anyone in your office saw those, just explain that they are fake. It’s suitable for work because they are fake. Those look a touch too short for me. My friend call me Long Jawn and it’s not because I’m passionate about long underwear.
3. Nose? Nah. Nose is out. Need my nose. Love to smell and I dont wanna smell stuff with my brain until it’s been filtered by my nose. I dont want raw milk or raw smell. Both need a little pasteurization.
4 and 5 together to save time: Arm and leg. There was a time in my life that I thought I was going to lose my arm. I cant exactly remember what happened to make me feel that way but I certainly thought it was going to happen. I wouldnt pick my arm or my leg because if you lose your arm, you also lose 5 fingers and if you lose your leg, you lose 5 toes as well. People think that if you lose one arm or leg that you only lose one limb. In reality, you’ve lost 6 limbs. Well, maybe a toe is limb and a leg is actually a branch.
I’m not too sure how far the tree analogy for a person really goes. You can count the main structure of your frame as the trunk. Like your sternum, back, chest, tits… all that can be part of the truck. I guess that makes your nipples bark. The branches are your arms and legs. Your toes and fingers are the limbs and then I guess your fingernails would be the leaves. Pretty incredible. Eating an apple is like chewing on fingernails. That’s pretty wild.
Anyway, this blog went off the rails and for that, I apologize. In summary, I’d pick my testicles. Cut them puppies off. Wait no, the ear. I pick the ear.