D.C. Public Bus Rider Enjoys Free Trip, Cool Breeze

We’ve all been there, amiright?

You hop on the back bumper of a DC Metro bus to save a couple bucks & you’re smugly enjoying a free ride in the coOooOoOOOooOoool breeze…

But suddenly there’s an unexpected turn… Wait, this isn’t the… Shit! You got on the X2 instead of the slower, local X1. Now you’re hanging on for dear life at 45MPH on a major artery towards the city as exhaust billows out of the back. Your only savior is a red light but ‘Hal’ has been driving this route for the last 30 years & has the traffic pattern down. Instead you feel the bus shift to a higher gear & dig your frozen digits deeper into the vents of the back.

In a smooth moment between potholes on the Benning Bridge you glance at the cars whirring by. The face in the backseat of a Lyft next to you is obscured by the cell phone they’re holding up. You know they’re recording. You’re going viral.

Covered in dust & bus smoke you can only hope your blind date will understand.

Hang in there, pal.