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BREAKING: Phillies Finally Make A Splash In Free Agency By Signing...

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NICE! Andrew McCutchen deez nuts, por favor. The 2013 MVP is a decent signing for the Phils to be what I assume will be a starter who would be platooned very often and even more of a clubhouse fixture. A dude with decent pop, a solid glove, and who ALWAYS seemed to be on base. A nice little pick up by the Phils.

Hold off…they signed him for HOW MUCH???

Christ on a cracker, Phils. I’m not gonna get all hardo over some else’s money in a league where there’s no cap, but that’s a lotta mullah dedicated to the 32-year-old former MVP. Look, I like Cutch. Everybody likes Cutch. However, this money ensures he’s going to be an everyday player ready to slap some jack for 150+. I don’t necessarily hate it, but would rather have all 8 of my position spots on the team reserved for absolute STUDS and not players obviously regressing in their careers. Sure, there’s apparently a club option where the Phils can let go of him for free after 2 years, but still. Here’s hoping McCutchen can regain that perennial MVP form he had for over half a decade.

Oh well. Again, not my money, even though they basically filled back Carlos Santana’s bloated contract already. Hey, Middleton said they’re gonna spend “Stupid Money” this offseason, might as well back it up! All things considered, Cutch is an absolute GEM of a fella. Welcome to Philly, Andrew. May you never interact with the devil that is Dave Portnoy again.