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Uh Oh, The Machines Are Learning Humor

Look I don’t want to sound all dramatic or anything, but we as a human race are fucked. We allowed the advanced AI technology first created by Popovich and some scientists in San Antonio to leave the country and fall into foreign hands and now look. Not only has Kawhi’s operating system been enhanced so greatly that he looks better than ever

but we should have known this was coming when during his media day press conference his new software showed that he was learning emotion. Sure the laugh still needs works and to this day it haunts children everywhere, but we should have taken this as a warning and sent some Men In Black type dudes up to Canada to take care of this thing. Now, just a few months later, we have a robot that not only understands emotion, but is also learning how to adapt to our culture by making jokes. Remember, we always said the one thing that separates us from the machines is that we had emotions and could make jokes. It was the one thing that was supposed to give me job security and now I have no idea what to expect.

Was that joke good? I dunno, sort of, certainly much better than I thought Kawhi would be capable of and that sent a chilling feeling right down my entire spine. But the fact that he fully understands how to make bad corny holiday jokes is the scariest part of this whole problem. When he was first created in a lab Kawhi’s sole purpose was to win basketball games, and he was one of the best basketball robots out there. But like with anything we got too greedy. We wanted to push the boundaries and see how life like we could take this technology.

Well now look at us. Look at what we have done. First came the basketball, then came the ability to laugh, now we have the ability to understand humor and make jokes, the only logical next step is total and complete world domination. Considering the Raptors will probably just lose in the playoffs again anyways because that’s their thing, was this even worth it?

RIPIP humans, we had a nice run.