That’s one small prize for man, one giant win for mankind. For years, claw games around the world have straight up robbed millions of people of their hard earned money with claws that have the grip of a young Ted Ginn Jr. It doesn’t matter if the prize is a new PS4 or a doll you wouldn’t buy from the Dollar Store. Claw games have been fucking over the common man since the day the quarter slot was invented. The least realistic part of the entire Toy Story trilogy is that some arcade would actually have a claw that would be able to pick up one prize let alone three and those movies have talking toys venturing out into the real world and saving the day with somehow never being noticed.
Which is why watching this freak with bones of jelly weasel his way up that machine like a goddamn mutant was so refreshing. I’m sure there are many perks to being able to fold your bones like clothes and pretty much being a human snake. Greaseman for Danny Ocean, hide and seek superstar, and obviously being able to suck your own dick without removing a rib like Marilyn Manson immediately jump to mind. But being able to take whatever you want from an unattended claw game has to be in the Top 10. And if you are the arcade owner, I don’t think you can even call the cops because stealing from a crooked claw game is like stealing from another thief. It’s all in the game.