NY – A 16-year-old virgin has won a ticket to a controversial Sex Island festival in the Caribbean, its organisers have claimed. The boy named Brian, who is originally from Chile but now lives in New York, apparently entered a competition for a ticket with his father’s credit card without telling him. Organisers claim Brian’s mother was furious but his father has given him permission to attend the event, which promises unlimited sex and starts on Wednesday on a mystery island. The festival promises three nights of erotic bliss where men who pay £4,600 get at least two ‘Latina’ girls each. Last month organisers offered a chance to win a golden ticket for an all-expenses-paid trip to the festival which boasts a ‘drugs friendly environment’. They claimed thousands had bought merchandise from their online store after announcing that each item would give the buyer one entry into the draw. Yesterday the organisers said Brian had won the ticket. Brian is said to have told them: ‘I bought a phone case and a bag for $60. After seeing the videos from Sex Island I just wanted to be there, but never imagined I would actually win. I used my dad’s credit card without telling him. ‘I received an email last week telling me I’d won the golden ticket. I couldn’t believe what I was reading, I thought I was dreaming. ‘When I told my parents they were very angry. But then my dad researched about it and liked what he saw too. He decided that I could go, and signed a permission slip because I’m not an adult.’ Although his mother is said to be still against the trip, Brian said he will today fly to Piarco International Aiport in Trinidad and Tobago, where his trip begins. From there, a group of 50 men will be taken to the docks, where a luxury yacht will transport them to the mystery island, according to organisers the Good Girls Company. Brian is said to have told organisers: ‘I can’t sleep properly. I’m waiting to go and thinking about how it will be. ‘I want to have sex for the first time. Losing my virginity is really important to me at this time in my life. ‘I have tried to find girls on Tinder, but never had the courage to meet up with them in case it’s not really them in the photo. I kissed a friend in school once but she didn’t want anything else with me. My friends are so so jealous of me. ‘My mum hasn’t spoke to me since she found out about it. My dad wanted to come with me, but obviously he couldn’t. He’s given me the talk about sex and told me to be careful about catching diseases.’
Have a day, Brian! Have! A! Day! And people thought Willy Wonka was the only creep giving out golden tickets to children. Just last week Brian was a down on his luck virgin who had barely kissed a girl. Now he’s going to a private sex island in paradise where he is one of 50 men GUARANTEED two “Latina” girls each. And dos chicas is only the minimum amount of bonitas. Imagine if there is a Lord Of The Flies situation on the island and Brian becomes the leader. He could end up starting his own tribe and live in paradise for the rest of his days. What an opportunity. And props to the Dad for giving permission after his son committed a felony by stealing his credit card and then, even more egregious, threw his Pops under the bus to be run over by Ma:
“My dad wanted to come with me, but obviously he couldn’t”
That quote may be real, but it will also have his father sleeping in the doghouse for the rest of time. A 16-year-old virgin is going to live out a middle aged married man’s literal pipedream. Have a day, Brian!