The Barstool Golf Time App | Book Tee Times and Earn Free Barstool Golf MerchDOWNLOAD NOW

Guy Stumbles Across An Escaped Zoo Lion While Walking Through His Local Park

Just to recap: Guy goes for walk, guy stumbles across adult male lion, guy takes out cell phone, guy films said lion, guy walks away (maybe?) under his own power. Got it. Call me crazy, but I think the right move here would be to run. That, or walk slowly backwards while making yourself as big as possible. I don’t know how that works. Regardless, the scariest part of this video has to be the fact that the guy was alone. It’s one thing if you were with your buddies because if the lion attacks you can have your friend hit it with a stick. Two-on-one is always an advantage no matter what species you’re dealing with. That, and the slowest man dies. You don’t have to run faster than a lion you just have to run faster than all of your friends. But if you’re alone, there’s literally nothing you can do except for pray.

Personally, I would’ve charged the lion and hoped for a lawsuit. It’s domesticated, so if you can protect your neck long enough for it to get bored there’s a good chance you can survive and get rich. And if anyone wants to pay me, it’s $150,000 for me to charge a lion. Again, as long as it doesn’t get your neck, you’re good, and if it does you just dig your thumbs into its eyes and it’ll release.

I’d like to think that they tossed a leash on this big boy and walked him back to the zoo, but chances are they AR-15’d him to death. People don’t like to give zoo animals a second chance once they’ve experienced freedom. Oh well, at least the guy’s okay. Which is much more than these two can say.