I'm Pretty Sure Tom Brady Magically Healed His Injured Knee Yesterday
So yesterday while Ian Eagle was reading promos for God Friended Me and Dan Fouts was mispronouncing names and they were both pretty much missing the point of everything, this happened. It barely merited a mention and CBS cameras never bothered to show it. But Tom Brady went down to the turf and … popped his knee back into place?
At first, I thought he was just adjusting the brace he’s worn on his front knee since Bernard Pollard threw us into the Pit of Despair for a year in 2008. Something Brady seemed to confirm this morning on WEEI when he said, “I think my knee brace just grabbed it and it just got dug into the wrong spot,” and “It twisted the wrong way,” before adding “I have zero concern. Zero.”
But I’ve watched this clip over and over again like it’s a celebrity porn tape. And the more I do, the more I’m convinced he popped his knee out and put it back into place with his hands. If I’m right – and I always take my side in every discussion – then we were witness to nothing less than a miracle. Like Jesus healing a leper. Or Aslan using his breath to defrost all the mystical creatures the White Witch froze into ice sculptures.
I’m a brilliant writer, not a doctor, dammit. But I know enough to know that knees don’t just pop back into place. Not to give anyone a history lesson, but when Pats running back Robert Edwards had his knee separated at the Rookie Beach Football Game at the Pro Bowl, he was supposedly less than an hour away from losing the leg. I’m not saying this was the same situation, but I’m not saying it was not the same situation. And yet Brady used his magic healing powers to stay in the game. And don’t be surprised if, on his way to a few more MVPs and a few more rings, he and Alex Guerrero share the Nobel Prize in Medicine and Pliability becomes bigger than Christianity. Somewhere Jimmy Garoppolo rehabs a non-contact knee injury and gazes in awe at what we just witnessed.