Let me make one thing clear right off the bat–if selling our souls is all it took to win the Super Bowl last year, I’d say we got a very fair price. I think that February 4, 2018 will go down as a top 5 day for pretty much everybody in or around the city of Philadelphia. And the weeks/months of celebrating afterwards was worth more than any soul could ever be worth. So it’s not that I’m necessarily complaining or anything right now. But after a day like yesterday, I can’t help but feel like the Sports Devil is here to collect our payment and banish the collective souls of Philly sports to hell.
I mean actually think about it for a second. Think about what we witnessed yesterday. Think of all the things that had to perfectly align to give us the absolute heaping pile of shit day that Philly sports had yesterday. The Flyers were on at 3 in Winnipeg. The Eagles were on at 4:25 in Dallas. Rarely do the Flyers ever have games on Sundays and if the day, they almost never overlap with the Eagles’ game. But the shit stars aligned yesterday to have both games on at the same time. Then not only do both teams play at the same time, but by the time the Eagles game started, the Flyers were already getting their dicks kicked in by the Jets. Pretty sure it was already 4-1 at that point, and then it only continued to get worse from there.
Now right as the Flyers were getting their dicks kicked in, the opening kickoff in the Eagles vs Cowboys game happened. A game to determine 1st place in the NFC East. The biggest game on the Eagles’ schedule so far this season. And right away, you knew the league was going to blast the Eagles in the ass after there apparently wasn’t a clear recovery on this fumble and the ball remained with Dallas to start the game.
So the Flyers are getting their asses kicked by the Jets and the Eagles are already getting their asses kicked by the refs. Fast forward another 40 minutes or so and the Flyers game finally ends with a final score of 7-1. The Jets had 7 different goal scorers, 3 powerplay goals, a shorthanded goal, and we even got to see a Flyers jersey tossed on the ice to represent just how fucking horrific the team looked yesterday.
But you know what? It’s okay. Because we all expected the Flyers to get destroyed by Winnipeg anyway. At least the game was over and we could turn off the 2nd screen and focus solely on the Eagles for the rest of the day. Because despite the fact that Carson Wentz looked horrible the majority and the day and the offense looked like total dog shit, somehow the game was still close. I mean the Cowboys may have doubled up the Eagles in yards and time of possession, but they suck just as much as the Eagles do so they were never able to run away with that game despite the Eagles constantly giving them opportunities to. And then as the game finally started to open up a little and both teams were going back and forth, the worst OPI call of all time went down which wiped this Dallas Goedert touchdown off the board.
So not only did the Eagles get ass blasted by the refs on the opening kickoff where they clearly recovered a clear fumble but Dallas was able to keep possession and punt the ball 70 yards down the field 3 plays later, but then they got blasted in the ass some more with this OPI call on Dallas Goedert. But that’s just the type of shady shit that happens when you play Dallas in Dallas. But yeah, the Eagles were on the receiving end of not 1 but 2 of the worst calls of the season, possibly in the history of the National Football League. All with the season on the line. But even with the refs doing everything in their power to fuck over the reigning Super Bowl Champs, the Eagles still managed to push that game into overtime. Keep in mind that it theoretically wouldn’t have gone to overtime if Jake Elliott didn’t miss that extra point but that’s just an added cherry on top of the shit sundae the Eagles ate yesterday. However, I’ll let the Titanic music remind everybody just how that game ended in overtime yesterday.
So to recap the time between 3pm and 8pm yesterday in Philadelphia:
- Flyers get curb stomped by the Jets 7-1
- Eagles get ass blasted by refs on two of the worst calls/missed calls in NFL history
- Amari Cooper scores game winning touchdown in overtime courtesy of a circus show deflection off the arm of Rasul Douglas
- The Eagles season is effectively over and they will miss the playoffs after winning the Super Bowl last year whilst going 0-2 against Dallas this season
If those 5 hours don’t prove to you that the city of Philadelphia might be cursed now after winning a Super Bowl, I don’t know what more evidence you’d need. I’m still saying it’s worth it even if we are cursed now. But there’s a chance that this might be our reality, and we just need to accept it. Until, of course, the Sixers get rid of Markelle Fultz which will rid the locker room of toxic distractions and propel the team to go on and win the Eastern Conference.