Ho Ho Ho!!!!! Looks like RDT Claus stopped by the Warehouse at Camden Yards and decided to drop off some gifts. Even though the Orioles were on the naughty list for their 115 loss season, RDT Claus is still here to spread joy. Let's take a look at what gifts were left under the tree for the Orioles.
For everyone of the 40 man roster - Name Badges
If you aren't from Baltimore or a diehard fan like I am, you're probably going to need to see some name tags on these players for the next few years. You won't recognize most of them, and it will take a while to get to know them. Gone are the days of the Orioles having recognizable faces on their team. The Adam Jones, Zach Britton, Manny Machado days are gone. They have new faces that people will recognize, or will be soon, Trey Mancini has made a name for himself, Alex Cobb and Andrew Cashner are both established veterans, Cedric Mullins is a name that many will know soon enough, but for the future, get used to saying "who the hell is that" when you flip on an Orioles game.
Alex Cobb - Calendar With Date That Pitchers And Catchers Report Highlighted And Circled.
When Alex woke up Christmas Morning he found a calendar underneath the tree with the date that Pitchers and Catchers report highlighted and circled. He missed all of Spring Training last season because he signed late and was never comfortable and wasn't ready in the first half. Right around the All Star break is when he started to look like the guy wanted to sign, funny how missing your warmup period will mess with you. Pre All Star Break he had an ERA over 6 and went 2-12 with a WHIP of 1.576. After the All Star Break he was 3-3 with an ERA of 2.56 and a much better WHIP of 1.156. I need Cobb to show up and report on time this season so the Os can flip him for some talent down the road. Pay attention to that calendar, Alex.
Josh Rogers - $1,000 Gift Card To Flight Club
The young lefty only made three starts with the Orioles after coming over from the Yankees in the Zach Britton trade. The numbers didn't look great, but you're an idiot if you judge someone on their first three starts on a team that was going to lose 115 games. Rogers is a nice lefty who should fit in nicely in this rotation. As I mentioned, the numbers on the field didn't look great, but off the field there is no one who has a better shoe collection, that is why I gave him a $1,000 Gift Card to Flight Club. The guy has an insane amount of shoes, and each pair of them is FIRE. I fully expect him to have the best cleats on the team, each in their own black and orange color scheme. If there isn't a pair of kicks that Josh has, this gift card should take care of that.
Jimmy Yacabonis - A multi-year lease on an apartment in Baltimore & a Big Dick Nick Shirt from the Barstool Sports Store
Little Jimbo woke up and found a few things for himself underneath the tree! His first gift was a multi-year lease on a nice apartment in Baltimore. Somewhere right around One Star, and not far from the stadium at all. Jimmy earned a spot in this rotation with his outings in the last month. He came up a few times early in the season on short notice and pitched okay. You can really see that he got comfortable in his last few starts when he KNEW he was going to be a starter and wasn't going to be yo-yoed back to Norfolk. Crazy what someone can do when they have a plan put in place for them and they aren't just thrown into the fire in an uncomfortable role. He also got a Big Dick Nick shirt from the BSS store, guy is a huge Eagles fan, I'm sure he will let you know all about their Super Bowl win.
Davis Hess - Cutter Wide Receiver Gloves
Hess was another young arm who got his first chance at the bigs in 2018. He had a good first few starts, and then the league read the book on him. He was hit hard, but didn't pitch half bad in August and September. I certainly can see him fighting for a spot in the rotation with some of the other guys, and if not in the rotation, maybe in the bullpen because I think he is better in the pen in Baltimore than on the mound in Norfolk. The reason he found some Cutter wide receiver gloves is because of what happened down in Tampa before a game.
Trey Mancini with the less than stellar coverage, and the ball hits Hess right in the hands and ends up hitting him in the face. He did have a black eye, and this was a pretty typical thing for the Orioles, just summed up their season. So David, try on those gloves, and make sure to get take them out for warm ups.
Dylan Bundy - Memory eraser device from Men In Black
I could have given this to a number of people associated with the Orioles organization, but Dylan is the lucky duck who got this. He got the memory eraser so he can block the 2018 season out of his mind FOR EV ER. Idk where to really start on how bad his season was. It could have been the fact that he lead all of baseball in home runs given up with 41, 7 more than the next closest pitcher. Or it could have been the fact that he posted career worsts in nearly every pitching category, losses, ERA, wins, hits given up, runs, earned runs, home runs, walks, and WHIP. Or it could have been the start he had in May against the Royals where he didn't record an out in the game and gave up four homers, five hits, and seven runs, again, all without recording an out. The Orioles needed him to step up and be a key member of the rotation, but he didn't do anything close to that. Maybe if he just totally forgets this past season he can rebound and resemble the pitcher he showed he could be in 2017. Just maybe.
Mychal Givens - Darren O'Day's locker in the clubhouse
With Darren O'Day down in Atlanta now with Kevin Gausman, Mychal Givens is now the seasoned veteran in the bullpen. Much like O'Day, he isn't tied down by any one role in the pen. You need him in the 6th, no problem. You want him setting up in the 8th, absolutely. You need him closing, he can handle it. Multiple innings in extras, Mychal is your guy. He is going to be the guy in the bullpen mentoring the young bucks like Tanner Scott, Paul Fry, and others. The student is now the teacher.
Chris Davis - Coal
What do you get when you just had the worst offensive season by anyone to ever pick up a baseball bat in an MLB season? Coal. You get coal, you bum.
Trey Mancini - A giant FatHead of himself so he can get used to seeing his picture blown up all over town and a $25 gift card to FireHouse Subs
Trey woke up Christmas morning to find a nice big FatHead of himself. Whether he hangs it up or not, he will have to get used to seeing his face blown up everywhere because he's not the face of the franchise. He's going to be on every billboard, all the promo items outside the park, his face will be plastered everywhere. He jumped onto the scene in 2017 finishing in third place in the AL Rookie Of The Year voting, had a rough start to the season last year, but finished strong. Trey will likely be the stat leader in most of the offensive categories, and not because the roster is weak, because he's just good. He deserves to have the billboards and bobbleheads and promo items because of his play, lets just hope the Orioles don't pick any faces from the #FacesOfMancini hashtag, he makes some hilarious faces in the field. He also got a gift card to FireHouse Subs because he told me he likes them, but man are those things bad.
Mark Trumbo - Bubble wrap and an airplane ticket to an unknown destination
Mark is a guy who absolutely hates fun, 0 fun sir. He is the one who had the Orioles stop "pieing" each other after the big wins in 2016. You know what the story has been like since they put an end to that. Since he doesn't want to participate in any fun he gets bubblewrap, and he's going to be wrapped in it because the Orioles need him to be healthy. They need him to be healthy and perform so they can give him his other present, a plane ticket out of town. Once he is healthy and shows he can produce I fully expect him to be moved to a contending team who needs a right handed powerhitting DH. So enjoy your bubblewrap Mark, and make sure you stay healthy so they can move your boring ass.
Brandon Hyde - "Managing for Dummies"
I hope Brandon Hyde has this book memorized by the beginning of Spring Training, because he is in for a longggggg haul with this team. I have no doubt he knows what he's doing when it comes to baseball, he learned under one of the best managers in recent history with Joe Maddon in Chicago. I just hope he knows how to cope with losing over 100 games. If he doesn't know thats gonna happen, this season will be a rude awakening for him. Now is the time for him to read up on bullpen management, how to face the DH since he rarely had to worry about that in the NL, and just the little tips and tricks mangers pick up along the way. Cozy up next to the fire with a nice book this break Brandon, you've got some reading to do.
There you have it, the rundown of what the Orioles got for Christmas even though they were mostly on the naughty list last year. Thanks for letting me come down your chimney, eat all your cookies, and get outta there super quick. Hopefully next year RDT Claus can be giving out a bunch of shirts that say "We didn't lose 100 games!" but idk how likely that is.