Frank Fleming aka Frank the Tank aka Frankie Midnight aka Frankie Fins aka the BIG WORM. Imagine being a Patriots fan right now? Your dead corpse lies on the ground, right next to Gronk who still can’t get to his feet after stumbling bumbling and fumbling on defense. You’re stunned from yet ANOTHER loss at the hands of the Dolphins in Miami. Your chance to clinch was lateraled right out of your hands.
And then a 398 pound man Victory Worms right on top of that dead body. The guttural noises coming deep from within the cockles of his heart. The moans and groans coming from his holly jolly and slowly but surely shrinking belly. Bouncing and rippling off the ground. His body waving and spilling all over your 4th loss of the year. Given the circumstances of the game (miraculous multiple lateral TD as time expires) and the participant (near 400 pound man who always expects his teams to lose) you could make the argument that this is the greatest and most improbable game winning celebration of all time. It’s a watershed moment for football and internet history. It will go down as a “Where Were You When…” Moment. The history books will begin measuring time as they do with the birth of Christ. Our calendar will read “BVW” and “AVW.” Before Victory Worm and After Victory Worm. Tomorrow is now December 10th, 1 AVW. God Bless America, God Bless football, and God Bless Frank The Tank Fleming. One of the greatest goddam men to ever walk Gods green earth. Or should I say one of the greatest to Worm gods green earth.
Think about the butterfly effect from that fateful day on New Jersey Transit. If the train was on time that day, or if Frank had decided to drive to Citi Field, or if he never found the local news cameras to scream “INCOMPETENT” on television, he never catches Dave’s eye and doesn’t join Barstool. If Frank isn’t randomly a Mets, Devils, Dolphins fan, he doesn’t care about this particular game. If Stu Feiner hadn’t been working with him and Frank hadn’t been killing it on his new diet and work out plan, he probably wouldn’t even have been physically capable to give us the Victory Worm. The amount of breaks that the world needed to catch for this moment to occur and be captured on camera and broadcast out to the world…it’s simply astounding. The play on the field is being dubbed the Miami Miracle, but the true marvel occurred inside the New Jersey apartment belonging to one Francis Fleming. Divine Intervention to show us all that there is, in fact, someone up there – some higher power above us – pulling all the strings to make greatness happen.