Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher

SSTa

SST

SSTb

AlabamaA female Spanish language teacher at an Alabama high school charged with having sex with a male student had the alleged encounter on school grounds, according to an arrest affidavit

Natasha Patronsky, 24, turned herself in to police in Montgomery on November 28 and was arrested on a charge of engaging in a sexual act with a student under the age of 19.

The arrest document filed in the case alleges that Patronsky had sex with the 18-year-old victim on the Sidney Lanier High School campus between 2.30pm and 4.30pm on November 8.

Classes at the school let out at 2.45pm every day.

‘On above date and time, the victim stated he and the suspect had sexual intercourse at the listed location,’ the affidavit obtained by Montgomery Advertiser read. …

Patronsky was in her first year of teaching high school, having been hired by the local school district in early August.

Oh, 2018, you are the gift that keeps on giving. This might not have been the greatest year ever in terms of current events, natural disasters, the government or society as a whole. But for the noble pursuit of female teachers trading in their careers for the chance to have awkward sex with their teenage students, it’s been a banner year. 51 weeks of lady educators treating their vags like a teaching tool. And counting.

And let’s give a special thanks to Natasha Patronsky for doing it the old fashioned way. Some of these Sex Scandal Teacher blogs have really gotten sort of grim lately. With threats and blackmails and even a preteen involved. So you have to appreciate someone like her coming along and getting us back to normal. Which is to say, as normal as a teacher boning a student could ever be.

The Grades:
Looks: Geez. Can we get some consistency here? Somewhere between the unrealistic Magic Hour that is Snap filter and the harsh, unforgiving light of a mugshot photo is the real Nastasha Patronsky. I apologize for the tiny thumbnailness of that one in the red dress on the Iron Throne, but this is all I could find. But taking them all together, and fixing her up from that mugshot, that’s a yes from me, Dawg.
Grade: B-

Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: Imagine the effort it takes, the sheer determination, to bone one of your students on school property in the first couple of months of your first day on the job? Talk about hitting the ground running and establishing you belong. If SSTs were running backs, Natasha would be Saquon Barkley.
Grade: A

Intangibles: She teaches Spanish but has the name of the Femme Fatale James Bond bangs but can’t figure out which side she’s working for. Muy caliente.
Grade: A

Overall: B+

Do you have someone you want to see graded? Tweet her to me @jerrythornton1 or email me at jerry@barstoolsports.com. Your service to the betterment of mankind will be its own reward.