There Is A Sloth Competing For Colton's Love On 'The Bachelor'
Chris Harrison took to Facebook Live today to announce the 30 women who are competing for Instagram followers and Colton’s virginity this season.
Disclaimer: There are a few *NIGHT ONE SPOILERS* I included in some of the descriptions because Chris Harrison said them during the live feed. Nothing crazy don’t worry. He also told us that there are no Laurens this season! Huge!
Here are the ones that stood out to me (almost all of them):
Dog Rescuer is a GREAT bio. Who wouldn’t want to fall in love with a woman who loves to rescue pups?! Colton is also a dog lover so I’m sure night one goes like this:
Alex: “Dogs are my passion”
Colton: “I have a dog. He’s my best friend.”
Alex: “Wow we are totally on the same page right now.”
Not to be confused with Alex B.
She’s a….sloth? That’s it? Thats all she’s got? Chris Harrison said she has a very “slow” entrance on night one. You’re telling me they gave this girl SLOTH as her occupation because of her entrance?! That is just ruthless. I hope Alex D. has a real job to defend herself from this ridiculous description. I also have a feeling Alex D. will be gone after night one. You don’t get your occupation created because of your entrance if you actually stay on the show.
Annie is going to be a favorite out of the gate, mostly because she was on The Ellen Show and won the game they played to get to talk to Colton. Seems fairly normal. We’ll see how long that lasts.
Okay there may be no Laurens this season but, Bri is literally Lauren Bushnell. That is a Lauren B clone. She’s blonde, beautiful, and a model. She will go VERY far on this show.
Here comes the pageant girls. There are TWO this year. Caelynn was also the runner-up for Miss USA. The pageant girls will go far solely for the reason they know how to work with other girls. They can maneuver and manipulate and work the system. Competing against a bunch of women for a prize? They’ve done it plenty of times.
This is pageant girl number two. Obviously Hannah B. And Caelynn know each other, they both competed together and the post won their respective states in the same year. Hannah B. Just kind of has that look in her eyes like she could destroy your whole life in just a few words.
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Ohhhhhhh boy. We have found our villain, I can feel it (and also Chris Harrison teased she’s the villain). A DJ from Florida. Paris Hilton meets Corinne.
Courtney is a Georgia peach. Apparently Colton and Courtney have a great conversation about peaches that Chris Harrison says is must watch television.
Another gorgeous blonde. I have to say I am seeing a theme here this season. Chris Harrison said things get “hot and heavy” with Colton on night one.
Meet Cinderella. Not sure how to read this one. Does she have evil step-sisters and step-mom? Does she just think she looks like Cinderella? Does she want to be a Disney Princess? Or is that actually her job, like she plays that character at Disney World? I sincerely hope she plays Cinderella at Disney. I mean she just looks like she sings to little woodland creatures.
Hannah G. Is a content creator. That could mean literally anything. She’s probably someone that is all over social media, in which case, The Bachelor is a great platform for her to boost her career!
Ohhhhh Heather. Girl. Never been kissed?! Perfect reality show casting from ABC here. Virgin bachelor? Yeah let’s one up that and put on a contestant who is also a virgin BUT has also never been kissed. Ratings heaven.
Okay I’m including Jane because in her description from Chris Harrison during the live show, he said her real name is Adrianne. He said she doesn’t talk about it on the show and he didn’t say why she changed her name. Just that she goes by Jane but her name is Adrianne. That is very suspicious, therefore she is one to watch.
Katie apparently “drops a bomb” on Colton this season. Damn this show I’m already hooked.
Laura is also included because of a reveal from Chris Harrison. Laura………wore the same dress as another girl night one. THE SAME DRESS. That is a NIGHTMARE. Poor Laura. She walks into the mansion night one and there’s another girl in the same goddamn dress. I would just turn around and walk out. Forget it. The worst omen to start the show.
Chris Harrison described Onyeka as the girl who is great if you’re on her good side, but awful if you’re on her bad side. Which means there are girls that get on her bad side and drama ensues. Screams cat fight.
Tayshia is GORG. She is smart and beautiful and I think she will go very far this season. Chris Harrison said there is a definite connection between her and Colton. Which honestly he said about a lot of the women. Of course.
HUGE P.S.: I don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes at The Bachelor but this seems very sketchy to me. Elan is easily their best producer and all the contestants always talk about how much they love him. Maybe he was just done with the reality show biz? Not sure.
P.P.S. You need this sweater before the season begins.