Despite heart-breaking early season losses, the Browns are still in the hunt for the playoffs. A win over the streaking Texans would greatly improve their chances.
You know what, though? Nobody cares. Everyone is too busy talking about the fact that this franchise is classless and a disgrace to the NFL! It’s true! What they did last week against the Bengals, and after the game, was disgusting.
I figured there is no better time than now to count down the Browns’ most disgusting, gross and offensive moments since returning to the NFL in 1999.
First Damarious Randall shit talked the Bengals before the game, only to follow it up by handing the ball he intercepted off to former Browns head coach Hue Jackson…
After the game, Baker Mayfield did something nearly as disgraceful by speaking his mind about Jackson.
Obviously, everyone in the media knows the exact details of what happened behind the scenes in Cleveland. Therefore, people like Ryan Clark were in the right when they basically threatened Baker on TV that Damien Woody could beat the shit out of him.
That’s how you combat a lack of class right there, folks!
The Browns have made a complete mockery of the quarterback position.
It’s shameful to see a team care so little about a sacred position to just not find a decent quarterback over the span of nearly 20 years. (Up until this season)
The Indians have the movie ‘Major League’, which is awesome and easily one of the best sports movies ever made. The Browns? Well, they decided to be used for this movie…
‘Draft Day’ sucks. A skid mark on the underpants of cinema.
The Madden cover is an honor for a player in the NFL. It signifies you are one of the game’s best. Being on the Madden cover, minus the jinx is one of those rare off-the-field achievements that players love to achieve.
In 2011, Browns fans, of which there are surprisingly many, voted Peyton Hillis onto the video game’s cover over the likes of Michael Vick, Aaron Rodgers, and Adrian Peterson.
I mean, this is hilarious, yet sad, to look at.
Now whenever someone brings up the Browns and Madden, they just mock the franchise from Cleveland for voting the one-hit wonder onto the cover. What should have been a cool moment for the team, turned into a pitiful laughing stock. EA Sports even had to change their voting system to make sure the churlish Browns would never end up on the cover again.
(EDIT: It’s been five years and I still can’t believe they threw those balls on game-tying and game-winning drives)
So, as you can see, this team, and franchise as a whole, is nothing but bad news. Everything they do is offensive to the great brand of the National Football League. Gaining confidence following an 0-16 season? Gross! Your rookie quarterback becoming a leader and speaking his mind? Repulsive! Firing up your team as they try and stay in the playoff hunt? Nauseating. The Browns are bad for the NFL!
Let’s take a look at Sunday’s game…
The over is an easy one this week. Hammer that. These teams should score some points today, especially the Texans. In terms of the line, I have a feeling the Browns keep this one close and cover by as little as one point or even just one half of a point. The Texans are good, yes, but they have been in plenty of close games against mediocre teams.
ATS PICK: Browns +5.5, Over 47.5
MY RECORD: Line – 7-3-1, O/U – 6-5
Both of these teams are pretty healthy. Terrance Mitchell is one week away from returning, but they really could have used him this week against a standout Texans receiving corp. The Browns might catch a break if Texans’ wide receiver Keke Coutee can’t go today. It sounds like J.J. Watt will play this afternoon, despite being questionable.
The Browns enter the matchup 3-6 all time against Houston and come in on a four-game losing streak to the team from Texas. Their last, and only, win in Houston came all the way back in 2005.
JEFF’S FUN PREVIOUS MATCHUP STORY
Actually, this isn’t fun at all! The Browns have played the Texans in all three competitive seasons they’ve had since 1999. In 2002, the Browns’ win over the expansion Texans helped them make the playoffs. In 2007, the Browns’ win over the Texans was one of their 10 wins during the playoff-less 2007-2008 season. The one loss came just four years ago, and boy was it a really bad loss.
Cleveland went into the home game with extra rest after an ass kicking they gave the Bengals in Cincinnati on Thursday Night Football. Their record was 6-3 and a win would have put them in a solid position to make the playoffs. Brian Hoyer had a pretty terribly game, going 20-for-50 (yuck) with one interception. The Browns also only rushed for 65 yards on 23 carries. Worst of all?
Yeah, the Texans threw a touchdown pass to J.J. Watt as they’d go on to route the Browns, 23-7. Cleveland would get Josh Gordon back the following week and beat the Falcons in Atlanta. But their 7-4 record would turn to 7-9 with five-straight losses to end the season.
QUARTERBACK: Baker Mayfield is setting records and well on his way to winning Offensive Rookie of the Year at this point. Things are exciting in Cleveland right now.
With that said, he will face easily the best defense he’s seen since the Browns fired Hue Jackson. Aside from being a little too conservative, offensive coordinator Freddie Kitchens has called some great games for the rookie quarterback. They will have to be sharp today if they want to stay in the playoff hunt.
RUNNING BACK: The Texans have one of the better rush defenses in the NFL, but they also have to face Nick Chubb and Duke Johnson today. The rookie Chubb has established himself as an up-and-coming premiere back in the NFL this season.
The workload from Chubb meant Duke got a few less touches last game. Kitchens is going to need to get Duke involved like he was against the Falcons if the Browns want to win in Houston.
WIDE RECEIVER/TIGHT END: After an atrocious start to the season, the Browns’ wide receivers have been a big help to Baker Mayfield. They’re finally catching the football and everyone, top to bottom, is contributing in the offense. Antonio Callaway looked solid against the Bengals last week and David Njoku had a great game, catching all five targets for 63 yards and a touchdown. The one thing Freddie Kitchens needs to do better is find ways to draw up more plays for Jarvis Landry. The Browns’ offense would hit another level if they can get him more involved today.
OFFENSIVE LINE: Somehow, someway, the Browns have one of the best offensive lines in football.
They haven’t allowed a sack in two weeks and that is in large part due to the success of Greg Robinson at left tackle. This week presents a daunting task though against the likes of J.J. Watt and Jadeveon Clowney.
DEFENSIVE LINE: This is a huge game for the Browns’ defensive line, and I’ll get to that in a second.
LINEBACKERS: This group still worries me a bit. Joe Schobert has been great since returning from injury…
…but as a whole, the Browns’ linebackers tend to get gashed by the rushing attack of opponents. Even in a blowout loss, Joe Mixon had a great game last week against the Browns. On top of that, Deshaun Watson is the most dangerous running quarterback the Browns have faced this season. While they are a bend but don’t break defense, the Browns stand no chance if the Texans’ ground game is able to get going early this afternoon.
SECONDARY: The secondary has improved the last two weeks after getting torched during their four-game losing streak to the Chargers, Buccaneers, Steelers and Chiefs. Having to matchup with DeAndre Hopkins and Demaryius Thomas is no small task and cornerback TJ Carrie continuing to play at a higher level will be one of the keys to the game.
The biggest key to the game comes in the trenches with the Browns’ defensive line against the Texans’ offensive line. On the season, the Texans are in the bottom tier of the NFL in terms of offensive line statistics and ratings.
Also, Julie’n Davenport might be the worst left tackle in the NFL.
I say this each week (well, I said it last week, at least), but Myles Garrett must feast today to give the Browns an advantage. He was good last week at getting pressure, and has 10 sacks on the season, but he wasn’t perfect. Getting to Watson could change the game today, and I am going to put my faith in Garrett to wreak havoc against the Texans.
Seriously, the Browns are in the playoff hunt.
With their remaining schedule, the Browns have a legit shot to get into the thick of things with a win today. A win over the Texans and wins by the Jets, Jaguars and Falcons over the Titans, Colts and Ravens lifts the Browns’ chances of making the playoffs to 97-percent. A Browns win and wins by the Ravens and Colts drop those chances down to 5-percent, though. The shitty losses by the Browns to the Raiders and Buccaneers sting so goddamn much.
The Browns aren’t going to make the playoffs, let’s be honest, but at least we can finally enjoy games late in the season.
I am going to be a big time Debbie downer, sorry.
PREDICTION: Texans defeat the Browns, 35-31