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A Substitute Teacher Decided To Be A Huge Asshole And Tell An Entire Class Of First Graders That Santa Isn't Real

grinch A substitute teacher in Montville has landed on the naughty list after telling first-graders that Santa isn’t real. The Cedar Hill School sent a letter to parents apologizing for the holiday gaffe, which occurred on Thursday in the first-grade class.

“During the course of the day, a substitute teacher apparently announced to the class that Santa was not real,” the school’s principal, Michael J. Raj, wrote in the letter provided Friday to NJ Advance Media. Raj did not identify the teacher, but said he had spoken with her “regarding her poor judgement in making this proclamation.”

I don’t know what chain of events led to this lady telling a class full of kids that Santa isn’t real just as Christmas season kicks into full gear. But I’m sure a group of 6-year-olds can drive anybody to the point of madness. However, I can’t give the teacher a pass on this one no matter how shitty those kids were.

If you are a substitute teacher, you have to realize what you are there for. In the words of Bill Belichick, you have to Do Your Job. Don’t try disciplining those kids or teaching them a goddamn thing. That’s the job of a real teacher. You are there simply to make sure everyone survives the day and doesn’t eat too much glue. Just throw a movie on the TV to dull their brains to the nub, play some Seven Up for a few hours, and make sure they make it to the buses in one piece. Easy peezy. Don’t go outside your responsibilities as a teaching band-aid by interacting with them and sure as shit don’t tell them that Santa Claus isn’t real. Because now you know what those kids parents have to do? Have the difficult talk about how there is no Santa. Yeah I guess that sucks for the kids because they lose a magical piece of their childhood and may become very jaded to the world around them at an extremely young age. But I feel awful for the parents. Weaponizing Santa is one of the few things you can do this time of year to get your kid to settle down. Since the weather is getting cold outside, that means everyone is bottled up in the house, which usually leads to fights and kids acting like little assholes. But the threat of Saint Nick putting little Janey and Jack on the Naughty List is the ultimate trump card for parents to get their kids to sit down and shut up. I would rather explain the birds and the bees to my first grader than take away the threat of Santa Claus. This teacher robbed a group of parents of that trump card and I can never forgive her for that. She has officially been REBUKED and should lose her teaching license if not her freedom.

h/t UPM