Live EventSOUTHAMPTON VS ARSENAL | LIVE WATCHALONG WITH TROOPZ & ZAHWatch Now
The Barstool Fund - In Support Of The 30 Day FundLearn More

2018-2019 NCAA Wrestling All Ear Team

Throughout history, cauliflower ear has predominantly served as a “badge of honor” to combat sport athletes and a grotesque deformity to the rest of the population. As a flimsy 5’7″ man who’s afflicted with a double dose of the irreversible malformation, my completely unbiased opinion is that cauliflower ear is the ultimate sign of a hard-nosed, bloodthirsty warrior who would beat the living shit out of any given person at a bar or social event. Since no one had the balls to challenge me to a fist fight over the weekend, I did the next most masculine thing and spent hours of my life looking through hundreds of pictures of adult men on the internet. With that said, I present to you the 2018-2019 NCAA Division One Wrestling All Ear Team:

-I only used the official 2018-2019 team roster pictures to judge the ears in this competition. This was a major advantage for teams with high quality photos like Duke, and a major disadvantage for teams with extremely low quality photos like Buffalo, Cleveland State, and Ohio University.

-I was looking for overall size, girth, total coverage, irregularities, physical anomalies or enigmas, and general ugliness.

-Weight classes didn’t play a factor. There will be a First Team (10 wrestlers), Second Team (10 wrestlers), and Honorable Mention Team (30+ wrestlers).

*National Qualifier

**All American

***National Champion


ALL EAR THIRD TEAM (HONORABLE MENTION)

Josh Annis, CSU Bakersfield

Nelson Brands, Iowa

Kevin Budock, Old Dominion

Brandon Courtney, Arizona State

Hunter Delong, West Virginia

Austin Eicher, Michigan State*

Andy Gandara, Arizona State

Noe Garcia, CSU Bakersfield

Hayden Hansen, Oklahoma

Jere Heino, Campbell*

Carlos Herrara, CSU Bakersfield

Mitch Finesilver, Duke*

Jaime Hernandez, North Carolina

Peter Lipari, Rutgers

Taylor Lujan, Northern Iowa*

Alex Mackall, Iowa State

Alex Marinelli, Iowa**

Chance Marsteller, Lock Haven**

Drake McKee, Oregon State

Zeke Moisey, Nebraska**

Tristan Moran, Wisconsin

Alec Pantaleo, Michigan**

Kyler Rea, West Virginia

Dan Reed, Columbia

Lukas Rodriguez, Edinboro

Kaden Russell, Duke

Willie Scott, Rutgers

Ross Sealby, Northern Illinois

Jared Scharenbrock, Wisconsin

Matthew Schmitt, West Virginia*

Lokahi Tonge, CSU Bakersfield

Zander Wick, Wisconsin

Brock Zacherl, Clarion


ALL EAR SECOND TEAM

Connor Brown, Wisconsin* (Extreme Irregularity Award Winner)

Gabriel De Haro, Cal Baptist

Gabe Dinette, Stanford

Jake Hinz, Indiana (“Mangled By A Rottweiler” Award Winner)

Josh Finesilver, Duke*

Christopher Matzke, Edinboro (“Possibly Has A Heartbeat” Award Winner)

Jason Renteria, Iowa*

Brandon Stokes, Bucknell

Kaleb Young, Iowa


ALL EAR FIRST TEAM

John Erneste, Missouri*

Zach Finesilver, Duke*

Jens Lantz, Wisconsin

Robert Lee, Pitt

Quentin Milliken, Rider

Bo Nickal, Penn State***

Ian Parker, Iowa State

Josh Ramirez, West Virginia

Paxton Rosen, Campbell

Jacob Rubio, Oklahoma


ALL EAR COACHES OF THE YEAR

Jim Andrassy, Kent State

Nic Bedelyon, Rider

Scottie Boykin, Chattanooga

Cody Caldwell, South Dakota State

Zack Esposito, Oklahoma State

Andy Lausier, Davidson

Frank Molinaro, Virginia Tech

Clint Musser, American

Dan Neff, Navy

Lee Pritts, Arizona State

Israel Silva, Fresno State

Tony Ramos, North Carolina

Zach Tanelli, Columbia

Chad Walsh, Rider


ALL MYSTERY TEAM 

Blake Barrick, American

Cameron Caffey, Michigan State

Christian Dulaney, SIU Edwardsville

Spencer Irick, Indiana

Anthony Lombardo, Wyoming

Jaron Smith, Maryland


ALL LOPSIDED TEAM

Trey Anderson, West Virginia

Nate Hagan, Edinboro

Jason Javier, Binghamton

Cary Palmer, Bloomsburg

Dean Sherry, Rider

Connor Webb, Oklahoma


BEST DRESSED

Davion Jeffries, Oklahoma*


TWIN EARS OF THE YEAR (MOST IDENTICAL)

Danny and Zac Braunagel, Illinois


All Ear Teams of the Year

1st Place: Wisconsin 

2nd Place: Campbell

3rd Place: CSU Bakersfield 

4th Place: West Virginia


Cliff Keen Ear Safety Awareness Award (team with most normal ears)

Lehigh University

Edit: Lehigh has been accused of illegally recycling freshmen roster pics


The “This Fucking Guy” Award

Tanner Rohweder, Northern Iowa 


2018-2019 NCAA DIVISION ONE WRESTLING ALL NAME TEAM

Noah Blakley-Beanes, CSU Bakersfield

Josh Breeding, Princeton (Translates to “Prank Fucking”)

Kam Bush, Central Michigan

Gary Joint, Fresno State

Raider Lofthouse, Utah Valley (Co Captain)

Carless Looney, Wyoming (Translates to “Psychopath who doesn’t own a car”)

McGwire Midkiff, North Dakota State

Perez Perez, Iowa

Paul Pierce, George Mason

Ryder Punke, Illinois (Co Captain)

Cornelius Putnam, Oklahoma State

King Sandoval, Maryland

Tucker Sjomeling, Nebraska (Looks like someone tried to drunk text “fuck or something”)

Stanley Smeltzer, Virginia Tech

Zurich Storm, NC State (Translates to “Swiss Blizzard”)

Hunter Washburn, Northern Iowa (Translates to “Kills wild animals, Douses fla…nevermind)

Real Woods, Stanford (Translates to “Natural Erections”)

Requir Van Der Merwe, Stanford

Cooper Youngblood, The Citadel