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The Internet Is Buzzing About the Way My Dad Carves A Turkey

I wish I could say this was an aberration or I just caught my dad at a bad moment, but that would be a lie. Because make no mistake about it. This was no fluke. This is how my dad carves a turkey every single year. Every single year it’s a debacle. Every year my mom and dad end up in a fight because my mom accuses my dad of ruining the turkey. Every year my dad blames it on my mom because she told him to cut it a certain way which I don’t even know what that means. But I’ve literally never seen anything quite like it. I know what you’re thinking. If he is so bad at it why don’t I just do it? Because it’s a Portnoy family tradition that’s why. The only weird part is my dad isn’t in on the joke. Like he seems legit stunned every single year when he fucks it up and blames it on everybody but himself.