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It's Very Rude To Score A Goal This Filthy In Beer League

I wouldn’t go around saying there are unwritten rules for beer league conduct and etiquette. However, I think everybody knows the deal when they lace ‘em up out there with the rest of the washed up has beens of the world. Most of the time when you’re playing beer league hockey, you’re stuck with an absolutely atrocious ice slot. We’re talking 10:30pm puck drops when a lot of guys have to get up at like 5 the next morning for work. So a lot of guys are already looking for some excuses to miss a game here and there, especially when it comes to goalies who are stuck having to play behind a group of 10-15 guys who are allergic to playing defense. I wouldn’t wish being a beer league hockey goalie on even my most hated enemy. But yeah, when it comes to beer leagues there’s a pretty large spectrum of skill levels out there all playing on the same ice.

You have your guys who have played at some pretty high levels and have just recently given up the dream of going pro. You have your guys who probably peaked in high school and maybe went on to play at the club level in college. You have your buddies who never really played organized hockey before but they just want to be a part of the team and drink some booze. And because there’s such a wide spectrum of skill sets, some games can get a little out of hand. Now when you’re playing in a beer league, everybody there is a full grown adult. So you shouldn’t have to worry about hurting any feelings out there by running up the score or anything. But at the very least, you can start mixing in a few assisted goals if you’re really starting to beat the shit out of a team. At least make it look like you have to put in a little work out there. But to flip the puck up to yourself, bat it around your defender and then bat it into the back of the net?

That’s just rude. And actually, it’s selfish. Because that goalie probably quit right there on the spot. No way is he driving out to the rink anymore and staying out past midnight just to get toyed out there for 3 periods and then only get 4 hours of sleep before he has to go to work the next day. That goalie hung up his pads for the rest of eternity. And once your team loses your goalie, it starts a trickle down effect. Now more players stop showing up because you don’t have a tendy and before you know it, the team folds. And once that team folds, now there is one less team in the league. Chances are there were only like 5-6 teams to begin with. So now you have to play the same team about 7 different times just to get a full season’s worth of games. Other teams get sick and tired of playing each other so frequently that they just up and leave.

One goal like this gets a goalie to quit. One goalie quitting gets a whole team to quit. One team quitting brings down an entire league. All because this guy decided to get fancy out there. I just hope that certified weapons like this dangler right here understand that there are consequences for their actions. If you’re scoring a goal like this in a beer league, maybe you should find a better league to play in. Because it’s clearly evident that you’re either too good or too sober to be a true Beer League Hero.