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Smokebro Of The Day: TSA Guy Who Sped Things Up In My Security Line At LaGuardia Airport

According to AAA 48.7 Million Americans will be on the move for Thanksgiving this year. The day before is usually so hectic that my hometown-area sports radio network has the annual tradition of broadcasting the misery live from the Philly airport.

Well that misery was no less pronounced up here in NY at LaGuardia airport in Queens.

Despite arriving extra early for once in my life, it still looked like I’d be cutting it close when I saw the swarm of people angling for B-Gate. Baby carriages clogging up the works, tiny dogs on leashes tangling around ankles, food stand re-fill carts blocking walkways, olds puttering around in circled panics… As I approached the gate there were three lines I could hop in & I tried my best to analyze, but sadly good judgement has never been ‘my thing’.

The family that had been 25 feet behind me in the other line was now past me putting their piles of junk into bins. The people in the food court below had ordered, received their crappy, overpriced omelets & were paying the check as I stood there waiting. I kept going up on my tippy toes & giving my best ‘concerned adult look’ knowing that would make all the difference. It didn’t.

But then, there he was – like a backlit airport billboard for Cialis glowing in a dusty, poorly lit terminal… TSA Man came upon the scene, assessed, & then huddled with two other workers. There was another line around the bend that people weren’t using & lo & behold – he began herding us towards it. Like the sheeple that I am I excitedly joined the herd into the new corral & passed a bunch of morons who picked the other lines. Ha, idiots.

TSA guy, whoever you are.. and despite your slight neckbeard & disheveled appearance… you’re my Smokebro Of The Day & I’ll forever remember you fondly. If we ever cross paths again I’ll be sure to smuggle somethin’ you gotta dig out. (That’s a reference to you puttering around my genitals.) (Too much?) (I’m sorry.) (Please forgive me.) (I’ll leave you with this:)

Best of luck to everyone traveling this week & hope one of these Smokebros helps you out, too.