Cue the Duckboats | Championship Collection for Banner 18SHOP NOW


Greetings from Hell aka Newark on a Snowy Day

Greetings from Hell

I think I died on Thursday and am enduring the 12th cycle of hell, an unprepared big city when a little snow falls, with the keyword being a little snow. There were signs of trouble at the courthouse at lunch when the snow started to accumulate. O,f course, most forecasters in the most bitter cold take ever said it would not stick it’s too cold to stick. It was at this time you could see trouble starting from out the Eastern Windows looking downtown towards the Prudential Center. An NJ Transit Bus, wouldn’t you fucking know had spun out in the middle of a busy intersection and it all began to go down from there. Another NJ Transit bus slipped into a parked car on another busy roadway and the jam had begun. The court decided to close at 3:00, 90 minutes early beginning a harrowing journey into the depths of which can’t be described but must be experienced.

3:00 PM

Get to my car and clear the snow, hoping to get home quickly since the fan in my car does not work, leaving me without heat.

3:20 PM

Traffic backed up so bad it is nearly impossible to get out of the parking lot

4:30 PM

Finally get on the road and nope cannot move anywhere or in any direction, meanwhile, Mike Francesa say it is not that bad out there. YEAH EASY TO SAY WHEN YOU GOT A DRIVER!!

5:00 PM

Stuck going West on West Market hoping to get to Norfolk while listening to Jacob deGrom, notice Waze has drained my battery send out dying scope knowing I am going down the depths of hell. oh and my phone died no battery.

6:30 PM

Start to turn on to Norfolk Street, two blocks the away from the courthouse and what do I see, three more stalled out NJ Transit busses including one blocking the entire road.

7:45 PM

Finish turn on to Norfolk, its cold and I really gotta go.

8:45 PM

Get one block down Norfolk decide to go down Warren Street and back to work. My god, I am going to burst. Slowly slowly slowly slowly nope not even slowly, we are fucking parked.

10:00 PM

Make turn down Locke Street, one block away from the turn and the first Newark cop car I see all day is hurrying his way through. Is he stopping to help, Fuck no he is going home and threatening to write tickets to anyone who blocks him as he gets to the middle of the road and goes making things much worse?


10:30 PM-1:00AM

Make it back to the courthouse and here I wait. Damn the Seahawks won, the Packers do suck and I am 0-1.

1:45 AM

Home, at last, time for some Soup.