New Zealand Introduces Glory Hole Testicle Checking Booth

Ever thought of getting a health check but worried about having to, well, drop your pants? Meet the Testimatic.

That’s a booth to allow New Zealand men to have their testicles checked without having to face a doctor.

Testicular cancer is the number one cancer in young men in Western nations and the booth is being rolled out with fanfare at a big expo in Auckland.

How does it work? Into the booth, down with the pants and a doctor will check you anonymously through a little hole.

The booth is set up at this weekend’s Big Boys Toys expo, a huge exhibition catering to all things men stereotypically are supposed to be into.

I’d abuse this system. There’s no doubt in my mind. I drop my balls into the attendant’s hand so often that should would say, “OH YOU! I recognize those squishy things! CHAPS! You rapscallion!” I’d laugh and run out of the booth. She’d come out and hug me and ask me about how my kids are. It’d be wonderful. Just a little ball goofin around the holidays.

I’m glad that men are getting their testicles checked. If you’ve known me for any period of time, you know that I’m a huge advocate of getting your nuts checked. Safety and prevention are paramount, and I refuse to joke about it.

Wonder if they’ll kill two birds with one booth. I could go for a little prostate check without seeing the doctor too. I’ll never cough though. I hate spreading germs when someone’s finger is up my ass.