Raccoons In West Virginia Got So Drunk And Crazy On Crabapples That People Thought They Had Rabies

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USA TODAY- A couple of raccoons in West Virginia aren’t rabid, they’re just “drunk,” police say. Officers in Milton, West Virginia, received a pair of calls this week about raccoons suspected of having rabies. Upon finding the fury creatures, it “turns out they appear to be drunk on crabapples,” the department said in a Facebook post. Police warned residents to be aware of the “staggering and disoriented” animals and told them not to approach any they might encounter. Officers were able to capture to two raccoons they received calls about and returned them safely to the woods, the department said. The case of these raccoons isn’t the first time “drunk” animals have caused a stir in a community. In October, birds in Gilbert, Minnesota, were acting “tipsy” — flying into windows, cars and staggering down streets, police said. The department said those birds had eaten berries that fermented earlier than usual because of an early frost.

Ain’t no party like a drunk raccoon party cause a drunk raccoon party don’t stop! You don’t see enough drunk animal stories. That’s my official take on this. I need more drunk animal stories. And I don’t want drunk animal stories where humans intentionally get animals drunk. I want drunk animal stories where the animals themselves provide the booze. Humans getting animals drunk is mean and cruel but when it happens naturally? That’s the good stuff. We see so few drunk animal stories that people just assume animals have rabies when they get drunk. These raccoons ate a few too many fermented crabapples and got tipsy. That’s fantastic. I bet those drunk raccoons ran through so many garbage cans that night.

How did they confirm that the raccoons were drunk and didn’t have rabies? That’s the question we don’t have an answer to. Did they breathalyze the raccoons? Did they breathalyze the raccoons and not film it? That’d be a huge mistake. The more I think about it, the city officials could’ve just made it up that the raccoons were drunk. Those raccoons more than likely do have rabies but the city officials didn’t want people to freakout so they were just like, “LOL nah they’re just drunk.” We all bought the lie hook, line and sinker because the thought of drunk raccoons is way more fun than the raccoons being stricken with rabies. Those raccoons for sure have rabies.