Shockingly, Amazon Employees Don't Make For Great Boyfriends
NY Post- With Amazon headed to Queens, the Seattle dating scene has a message for New York singles: Don’t get too excited.
Yes, the tech company’s new Long Island City headquarters will draw thousands of new people to the city — including lots of dudes (the company is 60 percent male) with six-figure salaries.
“There are two types of Amazon tech bros,” Isabelle, a 27-year-old resident of Seattle — where Amazon has its corporate headquarters — tells The Post. First, she says, there’s the awkward one: “super passive, super reserved.” Then, she says, there’s the jerk: “the guy who thinks he’s God’s gift to engineering — super conceited.”
“I’ll be on a date with someone, and they’ll say, ‘I had a really bad day,’?” she says. “I’ll ask what happened, and they’ll say, ‘Oh, it’s super technical, so you probably wouldn’t understand.’?”
“On Tinder, [people are always writing,] ‘Does anyone on here NOT work for Amazon?’?” [CEO Jeff Bezos] says.
“The general perspective is that [Amazon employees] are relationship unsavvy,” says Le, who works for the dating service Seattle Love Broker. They’re seen as “geeky” and “socially inept,” and, on top of that, pretty job-obsessed, “working at least 10 to 12 hours a day,” she says.
They work really hard. They’re super smart. They’ll help you set up your computer. They wear glasses with lenses that cut down on the glare from their screens. And they’re coming to New York and Virginia by the thousands, to ruin the lives of so many women looking for an exciting dude who asks questions about you and only works eight hours a day.
This is a typical New York Post article. They found three women to offer quotes about their distaste for dating Amazon employees, and all of a sudden, it’s an epidemic. These women have probably been burned by one or two of the thousands of guys who work at Amazon, and they feel strong enough about the issue that they wanted to offer their thoughts to the New York Post. Right off the bat, these aren’t the most credible sources. But that’s not really the point here.
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The point is… what more do you fucking want? Christ. Dudes who work at Amazon are 99% less likely to kill their girlfriends with power tools. Is that true? Probably. I got that fact by reaching out to three guys who work at Amazon + some random dating service correspondent. Seems good enough to write online. They’re nerds! Of course they’re nerds. What do you expect? They have shitty, patchy facial hair and they’re too respectful to ask for doggystyle. Don’t get mad at the bull for giving you the horns. Or mad at the nerd for giving you the most boring, safe relationship of your life.