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Big Time Congrats To The Esports Awards 2018 Streamer Of The Year!

WOW. What a long way we’ve come. I’d like to thank the millions of loyal subjects who voted for the greatest, handsomest, and delicious streamer in all the land. You are the best for recognizing the best. We didn’t necessarily guarantee victory going into this, and that’s OK. Guaranteed victories can only happen when victory is guaranteed. That’s a certified fact. But we’ll take another win anyway we can get one. It’s all about heart, and thank you from the bottom of mine.

Wait…that’s a photoshop? DANM YOU NINJA!!!

Even though I got saddlebagged here, go Ninja. But I’m still sticking with the notion that I indeed pulled off the victory and was voted 2018 Streamer Of The Year at the Esports Awards. Why? Because that photoshopped image gives me around a 20-35% chance that Dave Portnoy believes it actually happened. If #CITO can pull it off for their PCA award they definitely “Won”, we can do it with this, too. Around here statistics and assumptions from 2014 are still used by some for current day decisions. Hell, for 2 years I’ve been labeled by Dave Portnoy as a “Fall Guy”, solely because of this:

Obviously that’s not me taking a digger off a treadmill in front of two lovely ladies. So why would I be called a “Fall Guy”? The fuck if I know, too! I guess he just misremembered and then Davey’s fantasy became reality – Along with countless other things that actually affect real life stuff! That’s just how that Big Brain works, baby! So congrats, “Smitty”! Enjoy that photoshopped award and use it as ammo to fire shots at your co-workers during the end of the year meetings!

Meet me at the clocktower, Ninja. Quit being a coward and come getcha ax-whoopin’ of glory.

PS – Blackout tonight. Be ready – Twitch.tv/barstoolsports