Two Sides To Every Story: Was This TV Sportscaster Masturbating At A Vegas Bar - Or Was He "Itching A Severe Rash"?

LAS VEGAS SUN – A Las Vegas TV sportscaster arrested Tuesday morning is accused of exposing himself and masturbating at a North Las Vegas bar, according to a police report.

When confronted by North Las Vegas Police, Randall William Howe, who uses the on-air name Randy Howe, denied the allegations, saying he was “itching terribly” and was scratching himself, according to the arrest report.

Regardless of what the truth turns out to be, boy do I feel bad for the responding officer.  You got two options here for your investigation – get a face full of severe itchy rash, or get a face full of dick.  Well actually I guess no matter what you’re getting a face full of dick.  So in that case I think you’d pull for the guy to be lying.  So you don’t see a severe rash dick.  I don’t know just thinking out loud here.

Anyway, witnesses say our guy Randall was exhibiting strange behavior.  Namely, he pulled his penis out of his pants and walked to the bathroom like that.  A little something we usually call “preplanning” I guess is frowned upon now.

An employee at the unidentified tavern called police about 9:15 a.m. to report that a patron sitting at a slot machine at the bar had allegedly been masturbating, according to the report.

A worker told responding officers they noticed the patron display “strange behavior,” which included walking to the bathroom with his penis outside his pants, police said.

Surveillance video reviewed by police showed the patron unzip his pants and fondle himself, according to the report.

As we know, there are two sides to every story.

Was Randall whipping his hog out to fondle it and caress it and use it to go pee before masturbating himself?

Orrrrr….did he just have a horrible rash?

Howe insisted he was not masturbating, saying he had a severe rash and was scratching himself, the report said. He said he “probably shouldn’t have been scratching himself at the bar and that it was a bad decision,” according to the report.

Could be rash.  One time I got poison ivy on my balls the day before I left for a week long football camp.  Poison ivy balls contained in a girdle for two-a-days in 95 degree heat.  I was fondling myself quite a bit too.

And it’s not like he was drunk.  Unless you count being drunk on energy.

Howe had been sipping on an energy drink and was not drinking alcohol, the report said.

I guess we’ll see if it ends up as rash dick or masturbated dick.