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Is Cousin Mike Selling All His Worldly Possessions A Sign That He's Now A Senile Old Man?

So for those of you that don’t listen to The Cousins (which you all should) you may have missed the fact that Cousin Mike is downsizing. He’s been in the same house for quite some time now. He wants to downsize seeing as though he’s getting older and it’s just him and Cousin Linda. Here’s the issue. Since he has been in the same crib for years, he probably forgot the fact that moving is a bitch. From the day he started the process, he’s been using our daily radio show to vent about everything moving related. Sometimes I just don’t want to hear but I usually have no choice since as he’s the bosses dad.

On yesterday’s show Cousin Mike finally reached his breaking point. He took over the whole show and tried to sell all his furniture live on Sirius airwaves. One of the funniest shows we’ve had in a while, and you can catch it all on demand if you missed it. Here’s the problem, the logistical work of trying to sell second hand items may grind a 70 year old into his grave. That’s where I come in. He hired me to help him move his shit cause of my history in slinging porn. He kept trying to incentivize me by saying “I would get a taste,” whatever that means. I haven’t sold porn in about 10+ years and Cousin Mike has been putting pressure on me to close some deals, or else he won’t be able to move (something like that). So, help me help Cousin Mike get outta his house ASAP so we don’t have our hour of programming ruined by Cousin Mike bitch about him moving. Here’s the shit he’s selling:

He’s got other shit like a lawnmower that he didn’t send pictures of, that he’s selling. Literally EVERYTHING has to go!

So here’s how it will work. Its auction style pretty much. I’ll setup everything logistics wise. You’ll meet up with Cousin Mike at a location of his preference. Make sure you have your own help as Cousin Mike said he ain’t lifting a finger. Its on you to figure out the transportation logistics. That’s pretty much it. It would be a real shame if Cousin Mike still has moving headaches cause people aint interested. Real real shame. Hit me up