If you had asked me to guess which NFL player went trick or treating as himself last night, my first guess no doubt would have been Juju Smith-Schuster since he has been pulling wacky shit like this since he entered the NFL last year. I don’t know if it’s because he enjoys the attention or he is a little off in the brain since his name is Juju Smith-Schuster, but he always seems to be the player in the middle of some random ass viral tweet or story.
We can talk about how anybody that is old enough to legally drive should not be trick or treating unless they are an absolute weirdo. But as someone that is back in the trick or treating game since I am now teaching my kids that it is okay to take candy from strangers, I do have to say that I forgot how fun trick or treating is. You have the audible buzz on the street as different groups of trick or treaters pass each other, unspoken rivalries between kids in those different groups wearing the same costume (homemade costumes always beat store bought costumes unless your parent sucks at arts and crafts), and the assorted treasure trove of bite size candy is always incredible. Sure you could spend $10 for the Diabetes Special at CVS today now that all the Halloween candy is 50% off, which I just may do. But you can’t recreate that special mix of candy choices your neighbors made as they stopped to get a bag on their way home from the grind of the rat race. So I won’t hate on Juju for living his best life last night.
As with everything on the World Wide Web, I feel like Crazy Wacky JuJu’s expiration date for being an internet darling is almost here. But it isn’t today. Because no matter how much of a sour puss or contrarian you are, you have to agree that the thought of someone opening their door expecting to see a gaggle of elementary school kids dressed up as Buzz Lightyear, a cop, and Minnie Mouse but instead being greeted by a 6’1″, 215 lb. athletic specimen in full uniform that also makes $650k this year asking for your finest snack size Snickers is pretty fucking funny. In fact, the only way it would have been funnier is if Le’Veon Bell was the one going door-to-door while wearing black and yellow from head to toe and having that awkward interaction with Steelers fans that hate him despite James Conner clearly planting his flag as the running back of the future. Namely I just wish we had one of those Jimmy Kimmel hidden cameras to see what happened when Le’Veon showed up at this lady’s door and tried to take a handful of Kit Kats even though she said to only take one.