Patrick McGillicuddy Has Resurfaced And He's Like 25 Years Old Now

And so we meet again, Patrick. As we have every other year for the last decade. Only this time you’ve acknowledged you’re my boogeyman:

and apparently you’ve aged like 10 years overnight. This is like when the child star in your favorite sitcom becomes a teenager and the whole vibe is off. Like Luke from Modern Family. He used to be the cute little dummy and now hes like the frat boy in college getting boozed and banging chicks and the whole thing is weird.

McGillicuddy went from this cute little sports fan, wearing Red Sox pajamas sleeping in his race car bed at night after mommy and daddy read him a bedtime story about Tom Brady:

To lookin like hes about to get a D3 Lax scholarship at Amherst or some shit:

He looks Rory McIlroy, going from little kid playing Mini Golf to winning Majors:

This whole rivalry has always been weird, but now its taken a sharp turn to extra weird with McGillicuddy looking like hes about to funnel some beers and steal your girl.  Looks like he might be on the wrestling team or something. Can probably beat me up. As always I just wish for the worst for Pat. I hope all the bad things in life happen to him and nobody else but him. I hope you bomb your SATs and fail out of school because you’ve been cutting class for a decade straight for all these parades. I hope you end up at community college and work as a toll booth collector for the rest of time. You’ve had your fun, McGillicuddy. But you peaked too early. You got like 70 years left and the universe evens itself out. McGillicuddy, I’ve got a feeling your whole family’s going down. You, and the wolves that raised you.