I Feel Discriminated Against at Work Because of the Bathroom Situation

I need to call attention to a really important issue that has been plaguing the women of Barstool Sports. No one wants to talk about it, perhaps out of fear of what honesty would bring. But now that I have this platform, I feel it is important to talk about the micro-aggressions we as women face every single day in this office.

I’m just going to come out and say it: pooping here is a nightmare. To be fair, the bathrooms in general are a nightmare, but pooping in particular has become the subject of most of my anxiety. In a way, it makes sense that Barstool has single bathrooms. We started as a company that was pretty much just dudes, so everyone sharing 2 toilets wasn’t necessarily the worst idea. But now, there’s 50-something people working on the third floor, and the poop situation has become dire.

I’m not saying that some of the men aren’t self-conscious about pooping here, because that’s demonstrably untrue. However, most of the guys can just walk in, drop the kids off at the pool, and walk out with confidence and swagger. Every woman here lives in fear.

Some evidence i’ve gathered about how bad the bathrooms are:

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I also spoke to an exclusive source, who said, and I quote “for the love of god, put me out of my misery”

First of all, it’s bad enough that the toilet seat is always up and there’s usually pee on the seat. Every guy here is over the age of 20 and should have their aim under control by now, so who the fuck is pissing on the toilet/floor/sometimes the wall? Second of all, it’s like a walk of shame heading to the bathrooms because it feels like everyone is watching. So, if you take more than 37.5 seconds in there, you bet your ass everyone is assuming you’re pooping.

Third, I do not want people to know that I poop. Call me juvenile or prissy or whatever, but the men in my life generally do not know that my digestive system is functional. Needing to poop and knowing that someone is probably outside the door waiting for me is equivalent to competing on fear factor for me.

A lot of the women have a solution for this: pooping elsewhere. There’s a hotel down the street with a bathroom in the basement that 4 of the 10 of us on the third floor use when necessary. But holding in your body’s natural function to walk 100 feet and down a flight of stairs can be dangerous. According to Fatherly.com, if you ignore the fact that you have to poop, “The nerves in the rectum can become damaged and respond inappropriately to stool in the rectum. In essence, your brain stops responding to the urge”.

You know what they say: if you hold it in, all that shit floats up to your brain and becomes shitty thoughts and shitty ideas. And we can’t have that at Barstool Sports. In conclusion, we can’t wait til we move into the new office and can poop in paradise like the ladies we are.