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Oh Good, It's Time To Buy Way Too Many Lottery Tickets Again

Feel like this happens once or twice a year now, the lottery blows up to the biggest or second biggest it’s ever been and everyone gets all into a frenzy. Lines form around the block to buy lottery tickets, all production at works grinds to a halt because everyone is day dreaming about their new riches, and then some white trash hillbilly who bought they 1 lotto ticket and a pack of Menthols ends up winning. It’s infuriating, and I do it every single time.

I legit love playing the lottery. The hope of winning is the highest I ever get. I convince myself that I’m going to win literally every time. When the lotto went over 1 billion dollars in 2016 the hysteria was akin to Willy Wonka’s Golden Tickets. The ability to win a BILLION dollars (pre tax) is so ridiculously absurd that you would be an idiot not to play. Obviously the chances of winning are like 0%, but you’d be a fool to not buy a ticket with a billion on the line. An absolute fool.

So yeah, I’m going to hunker down and put way too much money into this MegaMillions. I mean I’d probably blow this money on something stupid anyway, so might as well have a possible 600 million+ return and a day of hoping and dreaming of beach houses and parties with Instagram models on boats and getting hairplants and buying a beach front house on Nantucket that doesn’t have mice in it. Who knows, why not me? Yes, I’m already considering myself the winner. Imagine if I actually won. Oh boy the pageviews!