I'm A Firm Believer That If You Score A Goal With Your Ass, It Should Always Count For 2
So this goal from the EIHL over the weekend has the whole hockey world abuzz. Everybody is asking the question if this should be considered a good goal or no goal. When in reality, however, they should be asking the question of whether this should count as just one goal or if it should be awarded as 2 on the scoreboard. Because let me tell you, boys, this right here is the type of play that we need to be seeing more of out of this generation of hockey players.
It’s no secret that hockey players are starting to grow a little softer. The days of just getting pucks on and crashing hard to the net are long over. Guys would rather try to pick corners from the top of the circles these days than get greasy around the crease. Guys just want to dangle their way to the highlight reels instead of playing hard dick hockey and doing whatever it takes to help your team get the win. Personally, I blame social media and websites like Barstool Sports for promoting highlight reel goals as much as they do. Every goal counts the same on the scoreboard. It doesn’t matter if you toe drag 4 dudes, put the puck between the legs of the 5th and then go forehand-backhand roof job on the goalie or if you just clean up some garbage in front of the net and smash home a rebound. It still all counts for 1 on the scoresheet. So for a guy willing to go so hard to the net that he himself ends up in the back of the net with the puck on his ass? That’s as greasy as it gets and we should be rewarding these throwback type of plays.
That’s what hard dick hockey is all about. Going hard to the net and scoring whichever way you can because you don’t care about your personal highlights, you just care about getting out of there with a W. If we want to keep that level of heart and intensity in the game, then we need to start counting goals like this as 2-pointers. If you score a with your ass–which is the grittiest way anybody could possibly score a goal–it just means more. That’s all there is to it. It’s a travesty that this particular goal was wiped off the board and sets such a horrible precedent for the future of hockey.