I Want To Buy Some Props From "The Office" But They're Quite Expensive

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View the auction here

So I’m just going to spoil things a bit here: the auction is very largely just legitimate office supplies. You may have seen the little known program, but that’s where a vast majority of the show takes place: in an office. I originally opened the link with dreams of Jim’s tea pot to Pam, a Suck It prototype, Bruce Springsteen tickets, Hunter’s CD, or the homemade oven mitt that Michael received. None of those were there. Instead it was a lot of moving boxes, paper trays, staplers, and computer monitors.

However, I did find some things worth while:

1. St. Pauli Girl sign

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A very important key to the Scranton life as it represented Michael’s relationship status. It was one of his prized possessions and only took it down when it was in love. I would use it similarly, when that’s up in Casa de Feitelberg then you are simply a visitor, when it’s down then you may bring your tooth brush but you better not insult my soft teeth when I dip my steak in the wine.

Jan’s art of Jan

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I don’t know what I’d do with this because it’s both terrifying and tacky. Art like this is reserved for people who like to think they’re original, freethinkers but they’re painfully unoriginal, so it’s perfect for Jan. But it’s better than Meredith’s mouse pad so it caught my eye.

Toby’s “attitude cube”

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I don’t know what makes this an “attitude cube” as it was described, or something like that, because it appears to be a paperweight of sorts. Nonetheless, I always like Toby. I see a lot of myself in him: he’s quiet and odd and very disliked. That gave me a little soft spot for him and I’d like to have something to remember him by.

Stanley’s daughter’s picture

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When time allows me I like to start my day with a quick perusing of PornHub. But when I wake up prohibitively late? It would be nice to have this hot picture on my desk. Centerfold in a Catholic School girl’s outfit? I mean, it is hot, it is sexy, and it turns me on. I will admit, the best part of my morning would be staring at it.

Picture of Kevin and Lynn

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I don’t think I’d ever seen Lynn before? Not a bad catch for Kevin, probably sucked her in with that famous chili. I’d love to have this on my desk. People would come by and ask “hey what’s that?” and I’d say “it’s actually a prop from The Office, that’s what Lynn, Kevin’s ex wife, looked like. Pretty cool, huh?” then they’d say “Whoa that is cool” and bam, I’ve got a new friend who appreciates my unique collector’s items.

Script from The Dinner Party

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Best episode, must honor it.

Dwight’s prescription bottle

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I googled it, Ciproflaxin is for bacterial infections. Whoa, a bacterial infection? Did Angela, that little hussy, give him something? That’s what folks are wondering, but I don’t think so. Dwight is a man of the earth, he eats mushrooms and beats and horse. He fucks with manure and farming. I think, probably, you can get a bacterial infection that way? Idk I just watch tv, I’m not a doctor, but it’s a possibility. A probability, even. I guess I’m old fashioned and just like to picture my television characters without venereal diseases.