The Barstool Golf Time App | Book Tee Times and Earn Free Barstool Golf MerchDOWNLOAD NOW

Friday Homestretch

MARKETS: Creeping higher again today.  Seems like Energy best performer while Semis are only real drag in Tech after Micron lowered guidance.

Micron expects its gross profit margins will take a slight hit near-term as a result of the $200 billion in tariffs that will be imposed on Chinese goods starting Monday. Micron, based in Boise, Idaho, has an assembly plant in China, where its memory modules are assembled.

BOXING:  After last weekend’s slugfest between Canelo and GGG, we get another championship fight Saturday night.

The IBF, WBA, and IBO title holder Anthony Joshua (21-0) faces Alexander Povetkin (34-1) in Joshua’s home court- Wembley Stadium.

The Tale of the Tape is pretty one sided.  Joshua is 10 years younger than the 39 year old Povetkin.  Anthony is also 4 inches taller and has a 7 inch reach advantage… Bigger, stronger, and younger are all pretty sweet edges to have.

Povetkin is no can of soup… He won the gold medal at the 2004 Olympics in Athens, fighting at Super Heavyweight and representing Russia.  His one professional loss came at the wrong end of a unanimous decision vs Wladimir Klitschko in 2013.

If you want to look at performance between common opponents, Joshua and Klitschko fought last April , and I believe it was the first time Anthony was ever knocked down.  This was in the 6th round…

But Joshua regained his composure and eventually knocked Klitschko the fuck out in the 11th round with a right uppercut that put Wladimir on Queer Street.

8483790-3x2-940x627

Betting wise, I am confident Joshua wins, but at -$1000 there’s no real money to be made there.  Instead, maybe I will throw a couple hundred at it going the distance (which I think is at +$250 right now).  At least then, I can be the only asshole rooting AGAINST a knockout.

COMMENTS: I wrote a blog this morning about Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder having a lot of kids with a lot of women.  Collectively, these 2 blind bastards had 21 kids with 15 broads.

I looked at the comment section and saw this one at the top…

IMG_1105

I couldn’t help myself, so I threw it into my handy dandy Braille-To-English Translator and winds up it simply reads “Thanks Large”… Which is pretty fucking extraordinary, and kind of made my day.

50/50 chance someone puts a braille “Fuck you, Fatty” below which will be hurtful, but they can never take that “Thanks Large” away from me.

Second thing I noticed in those same comments was that there were a handful of Stevie Wonder “Truthers” out there that think Wonder is either not blind or is at least only partially blind.  I did some legwork on the matter… Elvis is dead, the earth is flat, we really did land on the moon, and Stevie Wonder is blind (and loves to fuck!).

ZnkLgRk

And finally…

Ass From The Past: I take recommendations for AFTP‘s all the time, and today’s is surprisingly the most requested.  I think the overall consensus is that she has turned into a knapsack full of HPV, but when she had her fastball, she was something to behold.

It’s Pamela Anderson.

Pamela_Anderson_0096

Pamela Denise Anderson is a Canadian-American terrible actress and washed up model. Anderson is best known for her roles on the television series Home Improvement, Baywatch and V.I.P. after rising to fame as Playmate of the Month for Playboy magazine in February 1990.  Pam’s Playboy career spans 22 years, and she has appeared on more of their covers than any other model.

You know I like GIFs, and I was tempted to put in the iconic one of her running on the Baywatch beach, but I went with this one from Married With Children instead…

Before he was Jay Pritchett from Modern Family, he was Al Bundy, and he was a hilarious pervert.

There are so many pics of her, it is tough to choose.

P

Pam is a big vegan and vocal animal activist, which is annoying, but I think it keeps her lean, so I won’t complain.

peta+ad+pamela-640

I always wonder what draws a woman to the pole.  I have a daughter, so I would like to erase that part of her DNA that contains the urge to “dump them out.”

In Anderson’s case, I think her promiscuity probably stems from a fucked up childhood. She claims to have suffered sexual abuse as a child, a fact she revealed publicly in 2014. She said she was molested by a female babysitter from ages 6 to 10, then by a 25-year-old man when she was age 12, and also sexually assaulted by her boyfriend and six of his friends when she was 14.

You look at that childhood history and it unfortunately translates to a woman who does not cherish sexual privacy and is drawn to derelict drummers with huge dicks.

Tommy-Lee-Pamela-Anderson-Sex-Tape (12)

Pam is 51 years old now, and she is pretty beat up around the grill from all the surgeries she’s had.  But with the right lighting and a perfect camera angle she can still make you hard as the rock.

screen_shot_2016-04-22_at_4.43.58_pm

Welcome aboard, Pam.

Good weekend to all.

Take a report.

-Large