Inside Exclusive: The Cleveland Browns, a Team That Has Won Once In Three Years, Are Setting Up Go-Pros in Local Bars Anticipating a Win Over The Jets Tonight

So I am in Cleveland until Friday with a few of my friends. My best friend is a Browns fan and the rest are Jets fans so I’m along for the ride, just hoping I get to see a city burn itself to the ground. We stumbled into Barley House last night, the top sports bar in Cleveland, to watch the Yankees game and throw back a few alcoholic beverages. While we were there, the bar was setting up all these Go-Pro cameras. The bar was pretty empty since it was a Wednesday night and no one actually lives in Cleveland, so we were really confused. It turns out they were setting them up for tonight, when they think the Browns will beat the Jets and earn their second win in three years. I didn’t think it was possible to be cocky after being 0-1-1 after going 0-16 last year, but here we are…

I love this city. The first moments I got in the hotel shuttle driver’s car I asked him if they’re going to win tomorrow. He responded, “We have potential, but I don’t know about winning. We love to make up ways to lose.” By the way, that man’s actual name was Tiger so he’s the man. If the Browns beat the Jets tonight I think there’s going to be utter chaos. To be honest I have not seen enough people that could fill up the stadium, but I guess they’re all waiting to be unleashed at 8:00.

P.S. If the Browns win I am sprinting to Barley House to get a beer from the Bud Light fridge. I found out they are controlled by corporate and all get unlocked at the same time. That’s so serious that I respect it.