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The New iPhone Has A "Screen Time" Feature That Will Block You From Spending Too Much Time on Twitter

 The new operating system offers a tool called Screen Time, which allows users to restrict their phone usage. Some find it really useful, while others are struggling to adjust.

I’ll tell you what.  This is a fantastic invention.  I won’t be using it obviously.  I think Feitelberg would literally rather die than use it.  Anyone in this office who uses it would probably be fired by the end of the week for not knowing anything that was going on on the internet.  BUT, if we were normal civilians – like you! – I would love this.  I don’t think there’s a single worse invention than social media since like…the A Bomb.  Just a totally uncontrolled wild west of people letting their worst qualities out.  It’s basically just an outlet for people to vent their anger and frustration, with anything – politics, sports, blogging, personal beefs.  Just creating completely anonymous accounts with pictures of a cartoon as their avatar so they can tweet you detailed instructions on the best way you should hang yourself for being such a piece of shit.   Why do you think everybody in this country is depressed.  If you don’t have thick skin built up from years of working in the space it’s almost impossible to handle.  Some 15 year old girl getting bullied by The Mean Girls, and now it doesn’t just stop when the school bell rings, it carries on all night on your computer or phone screen.

Memes though…memes are good.  And videos.  Specifically on the Barstool Instagram account.  Is there an “exceptions” feature where you can have unlimited access to certain apps, such as, all the Barstool ones?   Ironically I now need to search Twitter to find out.


The fact that this is a feature installed by Apple, that “encourages you to use their iPhone less,” means it is absolutely some diabolical plan of reverse psychology shit that a thinktank full of specialists decided would actually make you use your iPhone more or buy more iPhones in bulk or something.  Maybe I’m paranoid but I don’t believe a 1 trillion dollar company is more concerned with your mental health than they are with pushing product.