Mountain Goats Loved The Saltiness Of Human Piss So Much That They Became Addicted To Urine And Were Airlifted From A Park

What do you do when hundreds of mountain goats have become so addicted to the salt found in human urine and sweat that they are a deadly menace to national park visitors, charging at hikers and trampling vegetation?

If you run Olympic National Park in Washington State, about 100 miles west of Seattle, the answer is to airlift 375 of the bad-tempered animals – slung blindfolded beneath helicopters – to more remote areas where they will be less of a nuisance.

Authorities said they expected to shoot another 300 or so that cannot be caught.

The operation began this week. Crews equipped with tranquiliser darts and nets captured goats from ridges and rocks within the park before being airlifted to a staging area. In the aftermath, park officials urged walkers not to urinate along trails, to avoid turning paths into “long, linear salt licks” and attracting goats.

They have a taste for salt and minerals in human urine, and sweat on clothes and backpacks, according to officials.

Ole R. Kelly Ass Goats. Ole Donald Trump In Russia (Allegedly) Head Ass Goats. Unreal. Can you imagine being out there on the trail lookin to find a little piece of nature to clear your mind and the next minute a goat is giving you the what for?

It’s been a long couple of months at the office and you just need to fucking get away. Get out to the cool and fresh mountain air. The only thing out in the wilderness is the wilderness and you long for it like a mountain goat longs for the salty goodness that is your warm piss. The mountain goat, weighing in at over 300lbs, smells you unzip your britches. Stinky dick. Yuck! Tossing another handful of trail mix from Trader Joe’s into your mouth, you discover a surprise. An M&M in this bite. Nice. Delicious. A touch of sweetness to break up the saltiness. As you begin to piss on what looks to be wild rosemary while looking over your shoulder at the goat and you jokingly “BAAAAAAHHH” at him.

You think to yourself, “was that a sheep noise or a goat noise?” No matter. It was hilarious. You look down. A goat has its mouth around your cock and is sucking the piss out from it like a straw. You scream in agony.

“BAAAAHHHHHHHHH.”

Now that sounds like a goat mating call.

At once, dozens of mountain goats appear over the mountain’s edge and lick their lips whilst smelling the air. Oh buddy. The air is filled with pee. They want that pee.

Urine trouble, now. When those goats get done with your cock, you wont have any piss left in your balls. They’ll suck you dry.

Days later, you’re found dead and looking like a raisin.

A park’s ranger, armed with a tranquilizer dart, says, “looks like he’s had a baaahhhhdddd day.”