Impossibly Old Man Fights Off Three Robbers With Hammers And A Shotgun

Father Time: “Let’s take ‘em!”

Young Man With Reason To Live: “Noooooooooooooo.”

I can never understand people who fight back against armed robbers at banks and jewelry stores. You’re insured to the gills! It’s not some family farm stand, where the loss of a bushel of apples means that Sadie won’t get the root canal she desperately needs. Just let it happen. That’s what they teach you on the first day of bank school.

It certainly seemed like the one employee was ready to comply. It’s one of those bookie spots in Ireland. He doesn’t give a shit, nor should he. Not only will he still make his hourly wage, he can probably take a few days off after this attack and maybe even sue his employers for not having a guard on hand. Everything would have worked out the right way. Until 84-year-old Denis O’Connor decided “this would look good in my eulogy” and sprung to action.

Most will sing his praises. Tim Murphy himself claims he was inspired by the old bag:

But the reality is, when faced with the business end of a hammer/shotgun, and your only teammate is a survivor of the potato famine, you give in. Lie down on the floor. Hell, make it easier for them–open the safe, give them your home address and tell them to come by later. No reason to be a hero with a guy who already has one arthritic foot in the grave.

Good thing the bad guys wore balaclavas though. Pretty embarrassing that you lost a 3-on-2 skirmish, with weapons, on camera.