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While I Was On Mad Money Discussing Barstool Sports 100 Million Dollar Valuation, How Barstool Is The Fastest Growing Media Company in the United States and the Brilliance of My OneBite Pizza App My Stalker/Future Lover Laura Wager Who Some May Remember For Saying My Career Was A Failure Because I Was Stuck Reviewing Pizza In The Street, Who Has Called Me A Sniffly Raisin, Who Has Called Me A Short Tempered Adderall Pill And Who Reported Me To Twitter For Asking Her On A Date In the Past Called Me A Sociopath For Defending Myself Against Sam Ponder’s Slanderous Lies. Truthfully It Only Makes Me Want Her More. After all Anybody Who Is This Obsessed With Me And Hates Me This Much I Can Only Imagine Would Be A Total Wildcat In The Sack And Cause My Bed To Burst Into Flames. But Please Don’t Tell Her I Still Want To Date Her Because Twitter Will Ban Me Again For Harassment.


This blog or lack there of is yet another example of the maturity and growth of Dave Portnoy. Because old Dave would have gone into a full blown rant about Laura Wagner and how I want to stick my tongue down her throat. How somebody who hates me this much only comes around once in a lifetime. But new Dave barely even blogged it. Just a few sentences and that’s it. Instead I’ll just let this picture do the talking. When Laura Wager goes low I go high. Credit to Davey Highroads.