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Sam Hinkie Is Now Playing Inventor As A Side Gig And Is About To Change The Way The Universe Is Played

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Da Vinci. Edison. Simpson.

Hinkie.

The man who died for our sins has risen once again to give back to the world he so loves. Let’s see what the man, myth, and legend of all things life has up his sleeve and down his pants:

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Ooooo baby. Pagination. “Pithy” videos explaining books. A GOOGLE MAPS FOR BASKETBALL VIDEOS. Quit talking dirty to me, Sam! It’s too much! However, instantly surfacing the very best book for you would indeed be amazing, I’m not if it would qualify as a “Delight Machine”. Those robots in Japan can do magical things.

Now, Sam Hinkie isn’t exactly “Inventing” anything. He’s looking for people to turn his ideas into reality. Why? Cause that’s what geniuses do. They think, and the minions create. If Steve Jobs can do it (borderline must watch Billy Burr clip), Sam Hinkie can perfect the system. In fact, why stop with these ideas. Shoot for the moon, Hinkie. How about a teleportation device that instantly transports you from the bed to the shitter? Or maybe we create a toothpaste that doesn’t make orange juice taste like taint? Or how about get a Director Of Content of a $100 million company actually cares about, or even acknowledges content that isn’t his own? It’s not like a lot of people’s livelihoods already depend on their mood at any given moment. Throw us some bones here, Hinkie. Please don’t stop with prioritizing emails and aggregating dunk videos. The world NEED the mind of Hinkie to keep thinking of extraordinary ideas and have people make them come to fruition. Let’s get nasty. And cue the goddamn music.