I Think Everybody Knows Exactly Why Doug Pederson Would Want To Bring Braxton Miller In
So a lot of big things happened in week 1 of the NFL so far. You had a tie in Cleveland. We had the longest game ever in Miami. You had Ryan Fitzpatrick becoming the greatest quarterback whom ever lived. You had Aaron Rodgers ripping out the hearts and souls of everybody in Chicago. But the biggest thing to happen in week 1 thus far? Something that actually has some serious Super Bowl ramifications? The Philadelphia Eagles (men’s professional football team) have signed Braxton Miller to their practice squad.
Now I know what you’re thinking to yourself right now. “Hey, Jordie, you dumb bitch. How’s about you stick to hockey. You clearly don’t know what you’re talking about. How does signing a practice squad player have anything at all to do with the Super Bowl?”
That line of questioning right there is exactly why I’m the journalist and you are just the reader. Because clearly your brain isn’t smart enough to realize that Doug Pederson doesn’t give a damn about week 1 of the season. He doesn’t care about week 2 or 3 or 5 or 10. Doug Pederson is already game planning for February 3rd in Atlanta and bringing in Braxton Miller is a part of that plan. Why? Well because the guy is a former division 1 quarterback. And if there’s one thing that Doug Pederson loves more than he loves plowing your mom, it’s a receiver who can also toss the ol’ pigskin a country mile. We saw it with Trey Burton in the Super Bowl last year. We saw it with Nelson Agholor against the Falcons on Thursday night. Now he’s got a guy who was a starting quarterback at THE Ohio State? Dougie P may just send Carson Wentz on a fly route from the 50 and have Braxton drop a bomb in there.
Will Braxton Miller throw more touchdown passes than Dak Prescott this year? Next question.