Fascinating yet Depressing Tidbits about Jimmer Fredette’s Life in Shanghai
Deseret News posted a story about Jimmer Fredette’s life out in Shanghai last March that I must have missed. Since I’m assuming >1% of stoolies read Deseret News I thought I’d share some tidbits from the article as I found it fascinating…and sad. I always assumed the Mormon Megalodon was living the life out of China. Lucrative shoe deals. Allowed to shoot the ball whenever he wants. Billions of adoring fans. A contract where he gets paid 1.5 million USD for a 3 month season. I mean even when I was pulling in less than 2K a month out in China I still managed to have a shit ton of fun. However, it turns out being the best player in the CBA isn’t all Stephon Marbury cracked it up to be. Lets take a look at one particularly depressing excerpt from this article. Hope you brought your tissues.
“It’s Christmas Eve, and he’s sitting in the soft amber glow of a fake Christmas tree, building a Nativity scene out of Legos. This is his second season with the Shanghai Sharks, and yet his apartment does not seem lived in. It feels empty, lonely, a place he just crashes, so devoid of personal effects he could probably pack up in an hour and you’d never know he was here. The art on the wall is generic, provided, hardly worth noticing, and the furniture looks like he assembled it after a quick trip to Ikea. The only thing that doesn’t seem transitory is the massive white leather couch that takes up most of the living room. It is here that Jimmer spends most of his time when he’s not playing basketball, watching TV. He doesn’t know what else to do in China. Sometimes he gets on the subway and gets off at random stops, walks around, but that gets old. And so he sits in this apartment and binge watches Netflix.”
Jesus, you change a few small details of that paragraph and it sounds more like the lifestyle of your average barstool blogger or stoolie, not the best basketball player in China. See for yourself.
“It’s Christmas Eve, and he’s sitting in the soft amber glow of a fake Christmas tree, building a Nativity scene out of Legos. This is his second season with the Shanghai Sharks, and yet His apartment does not seem lived in. It feels empty, lonely, a place he just crashes, so devoid of personal effects he could probably pack up in an hour and you’d never know he was here. The art on the wall is generic, provided, hardly worth noticing, and the furniture looks like he assembled it after a quick trip to Ikea. The only thing that doesn’t seem transitory is the massive white leather [averagely sized] couch that takes up most of the living room. It is here that (insert your favorite Barstool Blogger) spends most of his time when he’s not playing basketball, watching TV. He doesn’t know what else to do in China. Sometimes he gets on the subway and gets off at random stops, walks around, but that gets old. And so He sits in this apartment and binge watches Netflix.”
This excerpt had me a bit triggered at first. You have so little to do in Shanghai that you ride the subway for fun? That’s some serial killer shit. What about the beer and food festivals thrown around the city each weekend that cater to the young expat scene? What about the city’s world renowned restaurant and nightlife scene? I rushed to my keyboard to start pounding out a long list of all the awesome things for him to do in this incredible city I call home. But that’s when it hit me… Jimmer Fredette is a mormon. That means no alcohol, chinese medicine, caffeine, hoons, handjobs, or abortions. Take those out of the equation and my vibrant social life in Shanghai gets a lot dimmer. Apparently, Jimmer’s clean living was a detriment to his off-court life back when he was in the NBA too. He often spent nights on the road in his hotel room while his teammates went to clubs and bars. During his rookie year he was asked by the Kings owner to join him and the rest of the team in endorsing their new line of Vodka and politely declined. However, the author of the article suggests that maybe the real reason he never had much of a social life was because…he can’t dance?
“There’s a video online of Jimmer dancing. He’s at the wedding of former BYU teammate Brandon Davies. Dressed in baggy khakis, a white dress shirt and a pink tie, Jimmer awkwardly bounces to the beat. He has no rhythm. He does not look cool. Watching the video, you get a sense of why Jimmer didn’t mesh with some of his teammates in the NBA”
Lets leave Jimmer’s dance floor routine out of this. Have you ever tried dancing sober? It’s hard to get loose without the joose!
On a happier note, his life within the Shanghai Sharks organization seems to be much more positive as his teammates love him and his coach says he’s a “breath of fresh air,” despite thinking he’s an absolute square.
“Jimmer, I mean, it’s like is this guy for real? He’s like a Boy Scout. I’ve never heard him swear. I’ve never heard him talk bad about anyone. He’s polite to everyone. Signs every autograph. He’s in bed early. He’s like a 70-year-old man.”
However, this is where the article takes a turn for the worse when his coach starts using Jimmer’s exemplar behavior as a springboard to trash Shanghai Shark legends of old. Warning: Things get ugly
“This place,” Goorjian says, “was a garbage pit.” He lists the NBA players who did a stint here in Shanghai, treating it like a prison sentence. They’d stand outside the gym and smoke. They’d refuse to go into games, show up drunk, stay out all night, skip practices, bring entourages with them that bullied the Chinese players, barging into their hotel rooms on the road and emptying their minibars of liquor so they could drink it all.
He doesn’t name names but lets take some wild guesses.
They’d stand outside the gym and smoke. 
They’d refuse to go into games, show up drunk, stay out all night, skip practices
and last but not least
bring entourages with them that bullied the Chinese players, barging into their hotel rooms on the road and emptying their minibars of liquor so they could drink it all.
Well that has to be noneother than NO CHILL GILL himself.
And there you have it, the murderers row of ex-Shanghai Shark legends. That’s it for talking Chinese basketball today but stay tuned for more coverage once the season starts in November. And Jimmer if you’re reading this, I reached out to a sober friend of mine for options of good clean fun you can have in Shanghai. At the very least they should all be more fun than riding the subway.
