And The Next Bachelor Is...........Virgin Colton

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My reaction

Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

So this news actually came out last week week but it wasn’t confirmed confirmed until ABC announced it this morning. Colton Underwood will be the next Bachelor. He’s a “former NFL player” AKA he was signed to a handful of teams as an undrafted free agent and played on their practice squads. Anyway. I don’t love the pick. There were way better candidates out there. I wanted it to be Jason Tartick and so did the rest of the world. Usually the show has a good gauge of who the people want and who they don’t. Colton falls into the Don’t Want category for most people but ABC picked him anyway. Like I said, I wanted Jason or would’ve even taken Peter Kraus. Instead we got Colton.

The big things to know about Colton are

1) He’s a virgin. That’s the big one. Despite being a smoke and a half he’s never had sex. This will obviously be on of the main storylines during the season. He’s gonna have 25 smokeshows who wanna take his V card. Fantasy Suites should be interesting.

2) Before he went on Becca’s season of The Bachelorette, he dated Becca’s friend Tia who was on Arie’s season. They broke up before he went on the show but it was a big thing during Becca’s season. Then Colton and Tia both went on Bachelor In Paradise, caused a whole bunch of annoying drama, started dating again but broke up in dramatic fashion last night. Colton basically broke down during last night’s BIP episode and cut his Bachelor promo. Looks like it worked.

So that’s really it. Virgin Colton is the next Bachelor. Lastly, I wanna throw my hat in the ring to be a Luggage Guy on this season. Give me a chance, ABC. You won’t regret.