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A Couple Gets Arrested for Running a Drive-Thru Heroin Window Out of Their Trailer. And Yes, it's Florida.

Drive Thru

SourceA Florida couple was arrested last week after they were caught allegedly selling drugs out of a drive-thru window they constructed out of the side of their mobile home.

William Parrish Jr. and McKenzee Dobbs of Ocala, Florida, were arrested on August 23 after investigators raided their mobile home following reports of four drug overdoses in the area, WFTV reported.

Ocala Police said the couple had turned a kitchen window into a drive-thru so customers would not have to constantly enter and exit their home, potentially drawing unwanted attention, WFTV reported. The house had signs directing people where to drive and indicated whether it was open or closed, police said.

“We were seeing some overdose incidents that were happening in this particular area, specifically at this particular location,” said Ocala Police Capt. Steven Cuppy. “There [were] some heroin sales that were going on there. Subsequently, through the investigation, we were able to determine that product was laced with fentanyl.”

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This might surprise you, but I am not a big user of heroin. Not straight up, laced with fentanyl, in powder form, injected, Salt & Vinegar flavored or heroin with Tartar Control. It just happens to not be my thing. But I don’t judge. Wait. Strike that. I do judge. Very much. Heroin is bad. A your life coach, I’m telling you not to do heroin.

That said, I am a fan of the entrepreneurial spirit. And 32-year-old William Parrish and 20-year-old McKenzee (nice spelling, mom) Dobbs have that by the gram. I admire anyone who can read the marketplace, decide what consumers need, and innovate to fulfill that need. The US Postal System sucks, so someone invents email and private delivery services. Cabs are little, mobile slices of hell, so ridesharing becomes a thing. People like to meet up for anonymous, commitment-free sex with strangers, so we get Tinder and Christian Mingle. Hell, I make my living at a company that became a global phenomenon because the Internet’s idea of “humor” was Rick Reilly and Deadspin. So how can I not appreciate the innovation of this beautiful couple, finding a way to serve the needs of the heroin with fentanyl-consuming public of Florida?

Think of the convenience factor? I’ve always just assumed it must truly suck to purchase heroin. I’ve heard Artie Lange talk about visiting a new city having to score drugs, and how horrible it is because the heroin is always sold in the worst, seediest, most dangerous part of town. Now imagine the terror having to walk into the house of a total stranger who sells heroin for a living. Not to mention having to go out into the elements, like the blistering heat and torrential rainstorms of Ocala. Well Parrish and Dobbs eliminated all that. By marrying the high quality drugs of a reputable heroin den with the ease and comfort of a fast food drive-thru. It’s a damned shame their drug-addled minds didn’t realize how blatantly obvious it was. I mean, it’s not like cops would think they were selling coffees out that window. But still. An A+ idea brought down by their junkie D- execution. Better luck on your next innovative business model, kids.