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Does This Look Like The Face Of A Guy Arrested For Giving His Girlfriend A Wet Willy?

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ST. LUCIE COUNTY — A 47-year-old man was jailed after allegations he gave his girlfriend a “wet willy,” an affidavit states. Joseph Sireci, of the 1000 block of Trinidad Avenue in Fort Pierce, was arrested on a battery charge after the Aug. 15 incidents. A St. Lucie County sheriff’s deputy went to Sireci’s listed address. His girlfriend said Sireci was drunk on the living room floor when she got home from work. The girlfriend said Sireci accompanied her and her daughter to another home where Sireci “continued to drink and be belligerent,” an affidavit states. On the way home, she said, Sireci started grabbing her hand and pulling her arm. Further, she said Sireci “continued by giving her a ‘wet willy’ sticking his finger in her ear,” an affidavit states. According to Urban Dictionary, a wet willy is “a prank in which the prankster licks/spits on his finger, sticks it in the victim’s ear hole and then turns it round and round.”

The wet willy (or is it wet willy? I don’t wanna step on any toes heres but I’m gonna go with wet willy while realizing it’s probably wet willie in other parts of the country) is a lost art and I’m glad it’s lost. Wet willies are DISGUSTING. I’ve never found them funny. It’s just gross. I’m more of a dick tap guy. If you’ve ever been in a locker room for more than 12 seconds then you’ve had your dick tapped. It’s a rite of passage. You get tapped on the dick, it hurts like hell for a few minutes, sometimes it goes to your stomach which really hurts, but you’re laughing by the end. Now imagine instead of getting tapped in the dick the same guy gave you a wet willy instead. I’d punch that guy right in the face. I’d bloody his nose in a millisecond. A dick tap says, “We’re all just guys being dudes here.” A wet willy says, “I just fingered your ear with my saliva-lubed finger and now things are weird between us.”

So what I’m saying is they should lock this guy up and throw away the key. Maybe even the death penalty. Sounds harsh but we need to make an example outta him. We can’t have people running around trying to bring the wet willy back. It’s reckless behavior that shouldn’t be tolerated in any way, shape or form. Even between a drunk guy a his girlfriend. Unacceptable. Completely unacceptable.